Destined
by writergirljenn
Summary: What if Jax had been the one to flee Charming after high school, leaving Tara behind to scrape together a life without him? What if work brought him back to his hometown a decade later? Would he be able to make amends with his family, his club, Tara?
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Tara Knowles wasn't exactly sure who "they" were, but she knew they were right. Which was why she never bothered planning anything more than a couple of days in advance. She'd been a planner once- when she was young, in love, and naively thought she had a life full of wonderful things ahead of her. She was going to be a doctor. She was going to leave Charming with the love of her adolescent life, Jackson Teller, and the two of them were going to have a magnificent future together. That's the thing about plans, though. They allow you to hope. And in Tara's experience, anything she'd ever hoped for had been taken from her, one way or another. Including Jackson Teller.

Theirs was a young love, but it was an epic one. They crashed into each other's lives when they were both in desperate need of someone to hold on to, something to look forward to. Jax was still reeling from the death of his father, which came on the heels of his little brother's death a few years prior. Tara was struggling to take care of herself and her alcoholic father, the way she'd done since her mother was killed when she was just a child. They were both loners. Rebels. Lost souls. And then they found each other.

Tara was a 4.0 student, focusing all of her energy on getting a college scholarship so that she could study to be a doctor, something she'd wanted since she was a little girl. Jax was the proverbial prince of Charming, poised to take over the outlaw biker club his father had lorded over until his death as soon as he was of age. In reality, their relationship should have been nothing more than a brief intersection as they crossed each other's paths on their way to very different lives. But what began as a tawdry teenage affair quickly became something else entirely. It became _everything_. And it changed everything. For both of them. Together, they lost their way, and then found a new direction- one that would lead them toward a beautiful life. Tara would become a doctor. Jax would become a writer. They would live in a cute little house on the coast with cute little children and the sort of loving family that neither of them ever had growing up. At least, that was the plan.

The day after graduation, Jax announced his impending departure to his family. An eighteen-year-old boy abandoning the nest was nothing unusual. Some would even consider it healthy, normal. But to Jackson Teller's mother and the motorcycle club he'd pledged as a prospect just months before, it was the ultimate betrayal. He was never supposed to leave Charming. He was never supposed to leave the club. He was never supposed to leave Gemma. They threatened, they begged, they yelled, they cried. But he refused to change his mind, and so they disowned him. All of them. Devastated and frightened of what the club might do to retaliate, Jax was counting down the days until he and Tara left town. They got _so_ close.

And then, just two days before they were due to leave for the University of California San Diego, where they'd both been accepted, life happened. Tara's father fell ill, which was really no surprise considering that he'd lived on a diet of alcohol and cigarettes for over a decade. His liver was failing. His kidneys were shutting down. He had just months to live. Tara couldn't leave him. But Jax had to go. The only thing keeping him alive after betraying the club was his last name, and that wasn't an open-ended free pass. It had an expiration date- one that only Clay Morrow and the rest of the Sons of Anarchy knew. Jax couldn't wait around to find out when that was. They would kill him. Or worse. No, Jax had to go. Tara had to stay. And neither of them would ever forgive the other for their choice.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Mommy, when's daddy gonna get here?" Four-year-old Sophie Knowles-Telford bounced impatiently on the balls of her feet, her chocolate brown pigtails swirling around her head like tiny tentacles. Fitting, since Tara wondered if her daughter wasn't more wild animal than human most days. Of all of the things Tara had done in her life, Sophie was the thing she was most proud of. Ironic, considering that she was the result of a brief friends-with-benefits relationship gone awry. A "perfect mistake," Tara often called her, although never to her face.

"Soon, baby," Tara promised. She sat at a table near the front door of the SAMCRO clubhouse, itching to get out of her scrubs. It had been a long day at the animal clinic. She'd been bitten, peed on, and was that…yep, dog vomit caked to the toes of her white sneakers. Nice. _Soon_, she pleaded silently. Tara loved her daughter, but every once in a while, she needed a break. And it was rare that Chibs was ever off-duty, so the breaks came few and far between. He promised, though. He promised he would be back to the clubhouse by 5:30 following a three-day run to Nevada with Clay and the boys, and that after that he would have an entire week off. Tara needed him to keep his promise this time.

"I'm booooooored," Sophie whined, circling the table as if she was playing duck, duck, goose. Tara sighed, resting her aching head in her tired hands.

"Is that Miss Sophie I hear out there?" came a voice from the kitchen. Tara was instantly relieved.

"Gemma!" Sophie squealed as the SAMCRO matriarch appeared behind the bar.

"Hi, baby!" She opened her arms just in time for the little girl to leap into them. The two hugged and laughed and had a tickle war before settling down at the table beside Tara. "Hey, sweetheart," Gemma said. "Long day at the office?"

Tara chuckled. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well," Gemma offered with a smirk, "you smell like kibble and you look like you pulled an all-nighter. So yeah, it's pretty obvious."

"It's just been a long week," Tara explained. "And Sophie really needs some quality time with her daddy."

"Aaaah," Gemma nodded, understanding that it was Tara who really needed Sophie to have some quality time with her daddy. "Well if they don't get back soon, I can take her home with me." Sophie gasped, her eyes flitting excitedly between her mother and Gemma. Tara smiled. If anyone had told her she'd someday allow Gemma Teller-Morrow to babysit her child, she would have thought them mad. The two women had a tumultuous history, and it was all because of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy they'd both once loved so much. It took over a year for Gemma to accept Tara as a part of Jax's life, and even then, she'd done so grudgingly. She saw Tara as a threat, and rightly so. Tara did want to take Jax away from her, away from Charming. But in the end, it was Jax who left them both. For years, Gemma blamed Tara. Hated her. Banned her from the clubhouse.

But things changed once Sophie was born. Tara was motherless, after all, and Gemma was essentially childless after disowning Jax. They each had a void the other was able to fill. Tara needed someone to show her the ropes, someone to support her during those early days of motherhood the way one's own mother would. And Gemma desperately wanted grandchildren. Sophie was the closest she was ever going to get. Besides, Tara wasn't any sort of threat anymore. She was just another sad Charming local with a menial job, a small house, and a club member for her baby's father. She wasn't special or better than anyone. She was just one of the gang.

"We'll see," Tara said with a wink. When Sophie's focus turned elsewhere, Tara offered Gemma a silent "thank you."

"Gemma, I'm gonna be five soon," Sophie announced with a proud grin.

"I know," Gemma played along. "What are we gonna do about that?"

Sophie shrugged her tiny shoulders, her palms upturned. "I guess have a party." Gemma and Tara both laughed at the child's innocent assumption.

"How can I help?" Gemma asked, turning to Tara.

Tara waived a nonchalant hand in the air. "I think we're just going to do cake and ice cream at the house. No big deal." Gemma scoffed as Sophie pouted.

"No big deal?" Gemma raised an eyebrow. "My little princess turning five certainly _is_ a huge deal. In fact, I think it calls for a princess party. What do you think, Sophie?" The little girl nodded and clapped, too excited to sit still any longer. She jumped down from Gemma's lap and began dancing around the room.

"A princess party!" she cheered.

"Gemma, I can't-"

"Let me take care of everything," Gemma insisted. "Please. I've never gotten to plan a party for a little girl before."

Tara shook her head, feeling a bit embarrassed that she could neither afford nor take the time to arrange the sort of giant birthday party Sophie deserved. "Alright."

"Daddy!" Sophie squeaked as the roar of approaching motorcycles rattled the clubhouse windows. Tara felt like the weight of a small child was lifted from her shoulders, even if just temporarily. She stood up and grabbed Sophie's arm as the excited preschooler ran past her.

"Let's let him get inside," she insisted, hefting her daughter into her arms. Sophie wiggled and squirmed as her mother tried to corral her excitement. Just as Tara started to lose her grip, the door opened. Sophie pushed herself free and ran toward the gang of leather-clad criminals. Most little girls would be afraid of such a crowd, but Sophie was right at home among them. She held her hand up as they passed, each of them giving her a high-five. Clay, Bobby, Piney, Opie, and then the one she'd been very impatiently waiting for.

"Daddy!" she hollered again. Chibs scooped his daughter high into the air, twirling her around.

"There's my girl," he crooned, his thick Scottish accent marring his words. When Sophie was a baby, Tara was worried she'd have a hard time understanding Chibs when he talked, or that she might be afraid of his scars. But she'd forgotten how absolutely accepting children were of others, until they were taught differently. To Sophie, Chibs had always just been "da," flaws and all. Tara smiled in spite of herself, watching Chibs and Sophie together. The way they loved one another made up for all of the heartache and hassle involved in raising a child with a member of the MC. "Hey sweetheart," he said to Tara, kissing her on the cheek as he approached.

"Hey," she teased. "Glad you could make it!" He rolled his eyes, shifting Sophie into one arm as she clung to his neck. Tara handed him a hot pink backpack with purple hearts on it and smiled. "Goes well with your kutte."

"Yeah, yeah," Chibs groaned. Tara laughed, punching him playfully in the gut. She was so thankful for their continued friendship, even after things got weird. She was worried they might not be able to co-parent and stay friends, but they'd done so beautifully. In fact, Chibs was probably her best friend, if she really thought about it. She could talk to him about anything, and go to him whenever she needed help. There was no animosity, no jealousy, no resentment. Well, almost no resentment. Tara often found herself feeling bitter that the club prevented him from playing a more constant, reliable role in their daughter's life. But she learned to live with it. She had no other choice.

Chibs set the backpack on the table and wrapped his free arm around Tara's shoulders. "Got any big plans for the week?" he asked.

"Not really," she sighed, leaning into him. There were no romantic feelings between them, there hadn't been for years, but she loved how comfortable they were together. "Just gonna try to relax, and-" Something about the horrified look on Gemma's face made Tara pause mid-sentence, just as all of the conversations going on around them stopped abruptly. You could have heard a pin drop, or, as it were, a door close.

Tara followed the shocked gazes of her ragtag family to the figure standing just inside the clubhouse door, one that was both foreign and familiar at the same time. For ten years, she'd thought about this moment- where it would happen, how it would happen, what she'd be wearing, what he'd look like. Never did she picture it happening in the SAMCRO clubhouse while she was in the arms of the father of her child, his former brother, wearing pale blue scrubs and not a lick of makeup. But he…he was more beautiful than she could have imagined. The sun had darkened his skin and lightened his hair, making his sparkling blue eyes pop. He was wearing a casual gray v-neck that clung to his toned body in all the right places, and jeans full of holes and snags that were too perfectly placed to have been created naturally. He looked like a goddamn supermodel. He was nervous, Tara could tell. But he managed a smile as he nodded guardedly.

"Hello, everyone," he said politely, his voice slicing through Tara like a knife. His cautious eyes surveyed the room until he found Gemma. "Mom." He swallowed hard, trying not to look too surprised when his gaze landed on Tara and her family. "Tara."

Her heart was pounding so fast and so hard, Tara felt as if it might explode inside her chest. Her hands were tingling and her stomach was twisting into thousands of uncomfortable knots. She opened her mouth to speak, afraid no words would come out. Only one did. "Jax."


	2. Chapter 2

Tara paced her living room like a caged tiger, back and forth, over and over. Her mind was going in a million different directions all at once, but she couldn't pin a single thought down. Jax was back. Jax Teller. In Charming. Holy. Shit. _Go home_, Chibs had told her. _Take a shower. Have a beer. Relax_. He was worried about her, and not in a jealous, possessive sort of way. He was around when Jax and Tara were a couple. He knew how much they loved each other. And he knew how much it killed Tara when Jax left her.

So she went home, even though she had no idea how she got there. Must have been her autopilot feature, the one that always kicked in when she was too tired or too stressed or too distracted to be driving. Sometimes she would find herself in her driveway, or in the parking lot at work, with no recollection of driving herself there. Luckily, she hadn't killed anyone yet. Not as far as she remembered, anyway. She took a shower, not bothering to worry about the temperature of the water. She couldn't feel it anyway. She was completely numb. Judging by the fact that her skin was ice cold to the touch, she was pretty sure it had been a cold shower. She tried to drink a beer, but it tasted like piss. She dumped it out after the first sip. There was no way she could relax. _Jax was home_. She had no idea what that meant, but it definitely meant something.

After a very tense, awkward moment at the clubhouse where everyone gawked at Jax like he'd just been beamed down from outerspace, no one saying a word, it was Clay that finally broke the silence, in the very eloquent way that only Clay could.

"The hell you doin' here?" he growled.

Jax broke the stare he'd had fixed on Tara and turned toward his stepfather. "Can we talk?" he asked nervously. "In private." With a half nod, Clay cleared the room. Gemma disappeared into the kitchen, Opie retreated to the apartment attached to the clubhouse, and the rest of the club headed outside with Chibs, Tara, and a very curious Sophie.

"Mama, who was thaaaat?" the little girl asked, peering over her father's shoulder into the clubhouse, hoping to get another glimpse of the beautiful stranger. Tara was shaking so hard, Bobby had to help her to a picnic table.

"Just an old friend, darlin'," Chibs whispered. "Tara, love, you alright?"

"I'm…" she searched Chibs' face for the right words, tears in her eyes. He sighed a pitiful sigh and unlocked Sophie's hands from around his neck.

"Darlin', why don't you have Uncle Bobby take you over to the swings for a bit, aye?" Bobby nodded, understanding, and whisked the little girl away. Chibs sat down beside Tara, putting his arm around her. She shied away from him, suddenly very uncomfortable about their relationship. What would Jax say? "Hey," he murmured. "This was bound to happen someday, right?" Tara nodded, her head spinning. "Why don't you come home with me and the girl? We can order pizza, watch a movie." A lone tear rolled down Tara's cheek as she shook her head. She needed to be alone. That much she knew.

"I'll be alright," she assured him. "He just...it caught me off guard, that's all."

"You sure?" Chibs' brow furrowed with worry as he ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair.

"Yeah," Tara flashed him a false smile, then got up and headed toward her car.

"Sophie Anne," Chibs yelled, his voice booming. "Come kiss yer ma goodbye!" Tara giggled as her daughter skipped across the parking lot, a goofy grin on her face.

"Bye, Momma," she said sweetly, reaching her pudgy little hands up toward her mother. Tara picked her up and squeezed her tightly, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Bye, baby girl. You be good for your daddy, alright?"

"I will," Sophie promised. Tara kissed her once more before putting her down. Sophie scurried over to her father, wrapping her arms around his leg. He rested his hand on the top of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair.

"I'll call ya tomorrow," he said as Tara got in her car. She nodded, put on her sunglasses, and tried not to make it too obvious that she was anxious as hell to get out of there. "Go home," he called after her. "Take a shower. Have a beer. Relax!"

_Home. Shower. Beer._ Maybe beer was exactly what she needed. Just not the cheap shit in her fridge.

* * *

Tara studied her reflection in the rearview mirror for the millionth time. It had been a while, too long, since she'd worn makeup. She felt like she looked like a cross between a circus clown and a cheap hooker, and wasn't quite as confident in her ability to pull off the smoky eye/red lipstick look as she once was. She blotted her lips together one final time and opened the car door, willing herself to get out. She stood on trembling legs, not sure how much of her wobbliness was due to nerves, and how much was due to the fact that she was wearing high heels for the first time in months, maybe years. She tugged on the hem of her too-short black dress, wishing she'd worn something else. Jeans and a slutty tank top, maybe? That would be more in line with the Tara Jax remembered. And she wanted to be that girl so badly, even if just for one night.

She took a deep breath and smoothed her sleek, shoulder length hair, then propelled herself toward the entrance of the only bar in Charming that wasn't considered SAMCRO territory, the only place she could think of that Jax might be.

She made her way to the bar with purpose, careful not to survey the room, even though she was dying to seek him out in the crowd. She'd hoped she would feel his presence somehow, but their connection had long since dissipated. Jax Teller was a stranger to her now, and she to him. She took a tentative seat on a stool at the end of the bar, trying to look casual rather than petrified. She ordered a beer and sipped it slowly as she pretended to be interested in the football game playing on the wall of flat screens.

* * *

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but her beer was no longer cold and the score in the game had changed significantly, so it must have been a while. She was an idiot. What was she doing, running around town dressed like a whore, chasing after ghosts from her past? Jax was probably on his way back to wherever the hell he came from, not a single thought of her in his mind. She was wasting her time. She slapped a ten dollar bill on the counter and stood up, feeling like a complete and utter fool. She spun around, in a hurry to get out of there before anyone she knew caught sight of her. In her haste, she bumped into another patron who was approaching the bar. She stumbled, thankful when the stranger caught her by the waist and steadied her.

"Don't tell me you're leavin'," a hauntingly familiar voice said. "Not now that I finally worked up the courage to come over here and talk to you." Tara's breath caught in her throat, her skin turning to fire under his touch as his hands lingered on her hips. Slowly, she looked up. "Hey, Tara," Jax said softly. "Can I buy you a beer?"

* * *

"So what are you doing here?" Tara finally asked, unable to stand another second of the silence that had been hanging in the air between them since she and Jax sat beside one another at the bar.

Jax chuckled, amused by her bluntness. "It's complicated," he evaded.

"I'm sure it is," Tara said. Everything was always complicated with Jax Teller. "Are you staying long?" There was more hope in her question than she meant for there to be.

He shook his head, taking a swig of beer. "I don't know. Depends."

"On what?"

Jax smiled. "On things." God, he was beautiful, especially when he smiled. Tara wished he didn't still have such an effect on her. He shouldn't, considering how much things had changed since he left. Tara studied him carefully as they sat, neither of them saying a word. He was so different. His perpetually grease-caked fingernails had been replaced by perfectly manicured, skillful hands. She had no doubt that he was a writer. At least one of them got to live out their dream. She'd seen him all kinds of undressed during their three years together, but she'd never seen him in public without a kutte on. Even before he became a prospect, he wore a plain black one religiously. Wearing only a stylish, tight-fitting sweater, he looked practically naked. His hair was shorter than Tara had ever seen it, and perfectly tousled. He had just a bit of stubble on his face, which offset his pretty-boy look with a bit of rugged charm. He was mesmerizing. Perfect. He'd always been perfect.

"Things," Tara repeated. "Okay. Got it. No more questions."

"Tell me about you," Jax said. "How is Tara Knowles? Or is it-"

"It's still Knowles," she assured him. "And I'm fine."

Jax looked relieved. Tara tried to pretend that didn't please her, but it did. "So, you're a doctor? You had on scrubs earlier."

"Sadly, no." Tara smiled, amused. "I'm an assistant at an animal hospital. Exciting, right?" She was suddenly very self-conscious about the job she'd always been so proud of. It paid the bills, which was really all that mattered, right? _No_, a little voice in her head reminded her. _You were supposed to be a world class surgeon. You know it, and so does he_.

"Well hey, that's still in the medical field, right?" Jax's pity was not the sort of consolation prize Tara wanted. "And Chibs? You two are…" Jax let the question linger, seemingly unable to say the words.

"No," Tara laughed, shaking her head emphatically. "Chibs and I are just friends."

"Friends who have a kid together?" Jax raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"It's complicated," Tara said, using Jax's own words against him. He smiled, taking another drink of beer.

"What about you? Any ladies in Jax Teller's life?" The words were like glass on Tara's tongue. She really didn't want to hear about Jax's many conquests.

"Nah," he said, shaking his head. Tara chuckled incredulously. "Well, no one worth mentioning." Tara's heart spiked erratically. _No one worth mentioning_. She couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She changed the subject. "And are you a big, successful novelist now?"

Jax laughed, choking on the beer he'd been swishing around in his mouth. "No," he said between coughs. "No, I'm not. I write for _The Wire_, it's a…"

"News magazine, I know," Tara interrupted.

"You've read it?" Jax looked both mortified and hopeful.

Tara smiled, her cheeks turning bright pink. "No," she said sheepishly. "But I've seen it in the checkout lane at the grocery store."

"Aaaah," Jax said with a smile. "Well hey, at least you're not using it to line your cat's litter box or something, right?"

"I don't have a cat," Tara said quickly, wondering why Jax made that assumption. Could he see through the makeup and the short dress, right to her inner cat lady, who was destined to be alone forever? Jax looked confused for a moment, then laughed, taking another long sip of beer. Every time he drank, Tara drank. Before long, she lost track. Her ears were burning and her thoughts were swimming by the time she decided to count the number of bottles in front of her. Four. She'd had four beers and was working on her fifth. She would regret everything about this night in the morning.

She wasn't completely drunk yet, but she was definitely feeling…relaxed. Which made it much easier for her to communicate with Jax. They talked and laughed for a long while, completely unaware of the people around them. It was like they were in their own little bubble. It had always been that way when the two of them were together. It was nice to see that at least one thing hadn't changed.

"I gotta take a piss," Jax announced unceremoniously, pushing himself away from the bar. He stood, stumbling a bit before he caught his footing.

"You alright?" Tara giggled.

"I'm good, I'm good," he assured her, waving a clumsy hand in the air as he made his way toward the hall leading to the bathroom. Tara watched him walk away, unable to keep her eyes from wandering below his beltline. He still had that same confident strut, like he ruled the goddamn world.

With Jax gone, the silence was deafening. Tara scanned the room with bleary eyes, looking for familiar faces. She saw none. _Good_. When the door to the bar opened, Tara turned instinctively toward it. She recognized Tig and the new club prospect, Half-Sack, instantly. She spun around in her seat, praying they didn't see her. What were they doing there? Saul's was not a SAMCRO hangout. Wasn't really their crowd. They couldn't be looking for her, could they? She quickly checked her cell phone for any missed calls. Zero. If something was wrong, Chibs would have called.

"He's not at the hotel, so he's gotta be here," Tig sneered as he and Half-Sack unwittingly convened within earshot of Tara. "Aren't many other places for that little snake to hide. Not in this town."

"W-what are we gonna do?" Half-Sack asked nervously. "This is a nice place, man. We're not gonna bust it up, are we?" Ice water coursed through Tara's veins. She knew the guys weren't happy Jax was in town, but she didn't really think they'd go after him. That was always her mistake, though, giving SAMCRO too much credit. They were criminals, after all.

"Naw, man," Tig chided him. Tara let out a sigh of relief. "We're gonna take him outside before we fuck him up." Tara got up from the bar, her back rigid, careful not to let them see her face as she slowly walked toward the bathrooms, trying not to draw attention to herself. As soon as she was out of sight, she began running down the hall, to the men's room. Her heels clicked loudly against the tile, slowing her down. The door opened just as she reached it.

"Hey," Jax said with a drunk, lazy smile.

"Jax," she whispered, her eyes wild. "You've gotta get out of here." Tara noticed an emergency exit at the end of the hall, and began pushing Jax toward it.

"What? Why? What's wrong?" For the first time since he'd been back, Tara saw that Jax Teller fire in his eyes. For a moment, she had no doubt that he could hold his own with Tig. But then she remembered that Tig was most likely armed, and Jax most definitely wasn't. In a fair fight, Jax might stand a chance. In a fight against Tig, it was hopeless.

"I don't know," she said, continuing to shove Jax toward the exit. "I'll find out. But Tig and the prospect are here, and they're looking for you, and…" At the mention of Tig's name, Jax stopped resisting. The two of them had never gotten along, even when Jax was still part of the SAMCRO family. He knew how dangerous and unpredictable Clay's right-hand man could be.

"Alright," he agreed. "I'll go. But only if you come with me." He stopped just in front of the exit, planting his feet.

Tara looked nervously over her shoulder. Clay's goons hadn't thought to check the bathrooms yet, but it was only a matter of time. "What?"

"Come with me," Jax pleaded, holding his hand out to her. "Please."

Tara's heart leapt into her throat. Those were the exact words Jax had said to her just before he got in his car and left Charming for good. She'd turned him down then. She couldn't do it again. Her heart wouldn't let her.

"Okay," she agreed, a nervous smile playing across her lips. "I'll come with you."


	3. Chapter 3

You can take the boy out of Charming, but you can't take the Charming out of the boy. Tara realized that as she followed closely behind Jax, around the side of the bar to the parking lot. Despite its pleasant name, Charming was a dangerous little town. And every inch of Jax's body was alert to that fact as he crept, back pressed against the building, eyes scanning the darkness, toward his car. _His car_.

"Jax," Tara hissed into his ear, looking over her shoulder for the hundredth time to see if they were being followed. "They know your car. They saw it at the clubhouse yesterday. They'll be looking for it."

Jax paused and turned to Tara, a devilish grin forming at the corners of his mouth. "Don't worry," he said with a wink, "I'm not as dumb as I look." A jolt of electricity raced through Tara's body as Jax took her hand. Together they wove between parked cars, crouched down low as to remain undetected. Tara had never regretted a wardrobe choice more in her life. Her feet were so raw, they felt like they were bleeding, and she was pretty sure that anyone passing behind them was getting quite a show. Her dress was not made for fleeing and eluding. Even still, she was happy. She was holding hands with Jax Teller, running from the bad guys, trying to escape into the darkness of night. It was terrifying, but it was exhilarating. She felt sixteen again. Well, her mind did. Her body felt every bit of twenty-nine, if not older. She wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to keep up.

"Here," Jax said, stopping unexpectedly. Tara slammed into him, nearly knocking them both over. Jax caught himself with one hand, and her with the other. His arm around her waist, their legs tangled together, and their faces just inches apart, Tara was overcome with an emotion she hadn't felt in years. One she didn't even know she was capable of anymore. Jax's eyes were full of lustful amusement as he plucked a stray hair from her lips. "This is my car," he announced.

Tara didn't recognize the silver sedan, but she climbed in through the driver's side door just the same. Jax followed behind her, taking a quick look around before starting the engine.

"I think we're good," he said as he began to back out of his parking space. Tara buckled her seatbelt, inspecting the car's interior. It didn't look like something the immaculate Jackson Teller would be caught dead in. It was more like something she would drive.

"Weren't you in a red car yesterday?" she asked, finally feeling safe enough to speak aloud as Jax turned out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

"Rental," he explained with a smile, his eyes shifting from the road in front of him to his rearview mirror every couple of seconds. There were no other cars on the road. That was a good thing. "They're both rentals, actually. I had a feeling Clay's thugs would come after me at some point. Two rental cars, two hotels. While they're waiting outside the Charming Inn next to my rented Camaro, waiting for Jax Teller to come out of room 344, I'll be resting easy at the Holiday Inn in Lodi, racking up room service charges under the name Tom Price."

Tara shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe she'd underestimated Jax's intelligence. For as much as he played into the dumb juvenile delinquent stereotype in high school, he'd always been wickedly smart. It was the thing that had drawn Tara to him like a moth to a flame. "Wow," she breathed. She leaned down and unfastened her shoes, wincing as she slipped them off her feet. She could feel the blisters bubbling up on her heels.

"You alright?" Jax asked, concerned. He'd always been so thoughtful. Well, when he wasn't being a complete ass.

"I'm fine," Tara assured him. "Just wore the wrong shoes, apparently." Jax nodded, focusing his attention back on the road. "_Tom Price_?" she asked with a giggle. Jax was such an extraordinary human being, she could never imagine him with such an ordinary name.

He shifted nervously in his seat. "I probably shouldn't have told you that." The words stung Tara, causing her to recoil.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," she said. Jax pressed his lips together and nodded. He didn't believe her. For all his false bravado, he was scared. Out of his element. Unsure. Tara took his free hand in hers. "Jax, I won't. I wouldn't do that to you." She kept her eyes locked on his face until he looked at her. He was like a wounded deer, unsure whether Tara was just another hunter, or someone he could count on to help him find his way out of the woods.

"Thank you," he said quietly. Tara smiled reassuringly, then watched the landscape change as they entered the small patch of uninhabited wilderness between Charming and Lodi. Jax's hand was still in hers, clammy and uncertain. She wasn't sure whether to let go or hold on. That was pretty standard when it came to her and Jax, though- holding on when they should be letting go, and vice versa. Almost as if he was reading her mind, he squeezed her hand, then began rubbing his thumb in gentle circles on the inside of her palm. Butterflies soared as she bit back a smile.

* * *

"Best burger ever," Jax mumbled, his mouth full of fried beef and carbs. He'd insisted on stopping for fast food on their way back to the hotel, sure that all the alcohol they'd consumed would catch up to them eventually. Tara was pretty sure her adrenaline had burned through every bit of alcohol in her system, but she was never one to turn down a good burger.

She and Jax were seated across from one another at the small table in his hotel room, finishing their late night dinner. Tara was trying not to think too much about the fact that she was alone in a room with Jax Teller, just feet away from a king sized bed, but she wasn't having much success.

"I'm so sorry about tonight," Jax apologized, slurping the last of his cola through a straw.

"Don't apologize," Tara said. "It's not like we were on a date or anything. Just two old friends who happened to bump into each other, right?"

A bit of the twinkle seemed to leave Jax's eyes. "Right." He gazed out the window as he downed a couple of fries, then regained his composure. "So what were you doing there tonight, at Saul's?"

Tara's heart raced. She couldn't tell him that she was there looking for him. But what other explanation was there? She clearly wasn't meeting anyone else there, as she and Jax were there together for hours without a single interruption. So which was less desperate, letting him think she'd been stood up by a date, or that she was the type of girl who spent her nights alone at the bar, all dressed up with nowhere to go, waiting for someone to pick her up?

She decided to be elusive. "Just havin' a drink," she said with an innocent smile. "How about you?"

"Just havin' a drink," Jax repeated. A thought suddenly occurred to Tara. What if he'd been there hoping to run into her? Was it possible that he was as desperate to see her again as she was to see him? Tara ate the last bite of her burger and crumpled up the wrapper before tossing it back into the bag.

"So what now?" she asked, finishing off her soda, trying to keep her eyes off the bed.

"I don't know," Jax said, looking her up and down. Her skin tingled with excitement. "I don't know if it's safe to take you back to get your car yet, but we could check it out. If you want to." Tara struggled to hide her disappointment. She wasn't ready to leave Jax, but he was clearly ready for her to go.

She cleared her throat as she stood up. "No, that's alright. I've got my cell. I'll just call a cab." She tried to force her mangled feet back into her shoes, but it was a no-go. So she looped her fingers through the straps and started toward the door barefoot.

Jax got up to follow her. "Are you sure?" Tara thought she heard a hint of sadness in his voice, but she couldn't be sure. "You don't have to do that. You could…" She turned around, surprised by Jax's close proximity. She could feel his breath on her skin as he gazed longingly into her eyes.

"I could what, Jax?" she whispered, wishing she didn't care so much what he said next. He reached one hand up to her face and brushed his thumb against her flushed cheek. Instinctively, she leaned into his touch and closed her eyes.

"Stay," he breathed. The distance between them was short, but seemed to take forever to close. Eventually, Jax's lips found hers. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close, so that their hips were touching. Fire surged through Tara's body. He kissed her sweetly once, twice, a third time, before using his tongue to gently part her lips. He tasted so good. _So good_. Better than she remembered. She'd had countless dreams about this moment, the moment she and Jax would find each other again. Some part of her always knew it would happen eventually. But reality was so much better. She allowed his tongue to lead hers as he ran his hands up and down her body. She twisted her fingers in his hair, forgetting for a moment how short it was. Everything about him was familiar, yet brand new at the same time.

"Okay," she murmured. "I'll stay." Jax pulled away from her, and the two of them locked eyes. He wanted her. She needed him. And although there were a million reasons for them not to go any further, it was going to happen just the same.

With that knowledge came a confidence that Tara wasn't used to, and she let it guide her. She reached her arms behind her back and unzipped her dress, never taking her eyes from Jax's as it fell to the floor. His face alight with desire, Jax pulled his sweater off over his head and tossed it across the room. His body was flawless. Her hands found their way to his strapping chest without her even realizing it. She slid her fingertips down his torso, hooking them around his belt buckle. He smiled as she unfastened his jeans.

Exposed and vulnerable, the former lovers gazed upon one another for a long moment, each wanting to remember every detail. Slowly, Jax pulled Tara into him, cupping her face in his hands. When he spoke, his voice was guarded.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Tara nodded, fear flickering inside her. Had he changed his mind? Was he trying to let her down gently? "Yes," she whispered. "Are you?"

Jax smiled. "Tara, I've been thinking about this, right here, every day for the last ten years." Unhinged by his words, she lunged at him, crashing into him, her hungry lips finding his quickly. There was an urgency in her touch as she clutched at his muscular back and bulging biceps. He guided her toward the bed, running the tips of his fingers up and down her spine. He laid her down gently, then stood over her, admiring her body. For the first time, Tara considered the fact that Jax hadn't seen her since she'd become a mother, something that changed her body in every way. She felt an overwhelming urge to cover herself up, self-consciousness getting the best of her.

"What?" she asked defensively, her brow furrowing. Jax bit his bottom lip, slowly sucking air between his teeth.

"You're just so beautiful," he murmured, then joined her on the bed.

Tara's senses were so heightened, she felt like she was drowning in pleasure. The fresh scent of the lush down pillows under her head. The coolness of Egyptian cotton against her skin. The intoxicating aroma of Jax's glistening skin, like sunscreen and cologne. The feel of his lips on her lips, her neck, her chest, her stomach. The touch of his hands massaged every inch of her. For the first time in years, she felt truly desired. She ached to have Jax inside her, but didn't want the assault on her senses to end. And she knew that once they began to make love, she wouldn't be able to think about anything else. He awakened something within her she'd long since forgotten about, something only he had ever been able to find. He kissed his way from her waist back up to her lips, her entire body shivering with anticipation. When he pressed his himself against her, her hips rose to meet his. It was time. At long last, it was time.

"Tara," he breathed. This was the point at which he always he used to tell her he loved her, right before they made love. He'd been so careless about sex before Tara, it was his way of reminding her that she wasn't just another notch in his belt, that she meant something to him. They stared at one another, both stuck in that memory, each knowing exactly what the other was thinking. And then, without another word, he kissed her again, his tongue tangling with hers as he entered her slowly, passionately. She arched her back involuntarily as she gasped into his ear, which only turned him on that much more. They still fit together perfectly, like they were made for one another. And while neither of them dared to speak the words aloud, Tara couldn't deny the truth. She was in love with Jackson Teller. She always had been, and she always would be.


	4. Chapter 4

As the sun rose in the morning sky, thin slivers of light filtered in through the thick, outdated hotel curtains. Tara watched Jax sleep, her confidence from the night before fading quickly. He was so beautiful. Almost too beautiful to be real. Tara had awoken hours earlier in a panic, sure it was all just a dream. But then there he was, sleeping peacefully beside her, his hand resting on the curve of her hip. She wanted to stay in that moment forever, but she knew she couldn't. Soon, Jax would awake, probably with a headache to rival hers, and he would regret what they did. He would blame it on the alcohol, and then he would hop in his fancy little rental car and hightail it back to his fancy little life on the coast. And Tara would be alone. Again. At least she'd gotten one incredible night with her perfect man.

She didn't bother feigning sleep as Jax stirred beside her. He was used to people staring at him. He opened his eyes slowly, his gaze meeting hers across the pillow. She forced a nervous smile, readying herself for the rejection that was sure to come. Jax smiled back, a genuine, satisfied smile.

"Hey," he mumbled sleepily, moving his hand from Tara's hip to the small of her back, pulling her toward him. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she whispered. He settled his chin atop her head as she pressed her cheek to his chest. _He probably just feels guilty_, she thought. Tara quickly lost herself in the sound of Jax's heartbeat. It reminded her that this perfect specimen of a human was just that- human. He was mortal and vulnerable and very real, despite the fact that he was the epitome of what fantasies were made of. His heart rate picked up pace as he opened his mouth to speak. Was he nervous, too?

"So," he said. "What now?" _What now?_ Tara had been asking herself that question for hours, and was no closer to an answer than Jax seemed to be. Was theirs just a one night stand, two lonely, familiar ships passing in the night? Or would something more come of it? And how the hell would that work? Jax was an enemy of the club now. Tara was more than a crow-eater, less than an old-lady, but definitely part of the SAMCRO family. Her head began to spin, taking away from the wonderful moment she was living in. So she put the bigger questions aside and chose to focus on something more immediate.

"Breakfast?" she suggested.

Jax laughed as he kissed her on the forehead. "Breakfast," he agreed.

* * *

The next two days were a whirlwind. Jax and Tara spent every moment together, just as they had when they were younger. They hardly left Jax's hotel room, aside from when they were sick of room service. Tara had never been more intimate with anyone in her life, physically or otherwise. While the sex was phenomenal, and damn near constant for that first twenty four hours, it was their talks that left Tara feeling completely exposed. They didn't talk about the future, or about the specifics of their separate pasts, but rather much grander themes- life, love, the pursuit of happiness. They reminisced about their time together without ever touching on the raw nerve that was Jax's decision to leave Tara behind, or Tara's decision to ruin their future, as Jax probably saw it.

A heavy weight began to bear down on Tara as Sunday came to an end. While Sophie would still be with Chibs for another five days, Tara had to work Monday morning. She and Jax had spent the weekend shutting the world out, but that was only a temporary solution to a much bigger problem. They couldn't keep the real world at bay forever, and in the real world, nothing would come easy for them. Tara wasn't sure how they would fit into each other's lives outside of the little bubble they'd created, or if they'd even be able to at all.

"Can't you just call in sick, or take an impromptu vacation?" Jax pleaded. Tara stood at the hotel room door, poised to leave, a sick feeling in her gut.

"I wish," she said with a sad smile. "We're already short-handed this week. And my cab's probably waiting, so I really have to-" Jax interrupted her by pressing his lips to hers. She melted into him, not ready to leave, and dreading facing the light of day. She looked like a mess- no makeup, same dress she'd been wearing since Friday, hair in tangles. Jax didn't seem to mind as he pulled her into him, kissing her more passionately. It took every bit of strength she had to pull away. "I'm sorry, Jax," she whispered. "I have to go."

* * *

The cab ride to Saul's was every bit as mortifying as Tara's walk of shame through the hotel, but she was the one who'd insisted on taking a taxi. She didn't want Jax stepping foot back in Charming until she'd had a chance to talk to Chibs and find out what was going on. It was too dangerous. The parking lot was empty when they arrived, which meant her car had been towed. _Awesome_. She'd have to call the bar when she got home and find out where it was impounded. She gave the cab driver directions to her house and dozed off in the back seat on the way. She hadn't gotten much sleep over the weekend. She didn't want to miss a single second with Jax.

"We're here, lady," the cab driver announced gruffly, waking Tara from her half-slumber. She sat up, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted. Her stomach dropped when she saw her house. Her car was parked in the driveway, Chibs' bike behind it. She quickly paid the driver and clamored out of the vehicle. What was Chibs doing there? Was Sophie with him? She didn't want her daughter seeing her in such a disheveled state. While she dreaded having to face Chibs, she hurried into the house, anxious to verify that nothing had happened to Sophie.

She found him seated on her couch, drinking a beer, staring at a black TV screen. "Chibs?" she asked, not attempting to hide her alarm. He turned to her, looked her up and down with sad, weary eyes, and took a drink from the bottle in his hand. The look on his face told Tara everything she needed to know. This wasn't about Sophie. This was all about her.

"Where's Jackie Boy?" he accused, his voice full of more venom than he'd ever spoken to Tara with before. Her heart raced, and not in a good way. She sat down on the edge of the chair opposite the couch, watching Chibs nervously. He looked her up and down, his face a mix of disappointment and disgust.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, deflecting.

Chibs let out an exasperated sigh. "I think we both know the answer to that."

"Where's Sophie?" Tara scanned the room for any sign that their daughter might be there. The house was immaculate, which meant Chibs was alone. Sophie was a like a little tornado.

"With Gemma," he answered curtly. "Thank God. Wouldn't want her to catch her ma doing the walk of shame, now, would we?" Tara hung her head. "Y-know, I suspected this would happen the minute that little shit came walking into the clubhouse like he owned the place. But I've gotta give you credit, love. I didn't think it would happen so quickly."

Angry, embarrassed tears formed in Tara's eyes, and she fought to keep from revealing them to Chibs. "What I do," her voice broke, "on my own time is none of your business."

Chibs sucked air in through his teeth and smacked his lips, thoroughly annoyed. "Normally, I'd agree with ya," he said. "But this is different, and you know it."

"How?" The question sounded ridiculous even to Tara.

Chibs chuckled, leaning back into the couch. "Jax betrayed the club, Tara. _My_ club. And you are my-"

"Your what?" Tara interrupted, her eyes wide. In all the years since their relationship crossed the line of friendship, Chibs had never staked a claim on her before. And she wasn't about to let him do it now.

"You're my family," he explained, his voice softening just a bit. "You are my daughter's mother. And I can't have you shacking up with an enemy because the two of you want to relive the past."

Tara quickly wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek, but not before Chibs saw it. His expression changed to one of pity. Tara had only ever cried in front of him one other time, when she told him she was pregnant. He got up from the couch and made his way to her, his hands raised in an offering of peace. He crouched down so that they were face to face, resting a hand on her bare knee.

"Darlin', you know this isn't me. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy, and live your own life. But not with him." Tara buried her face in her hands, her head spinning. Everything that had happened over the past few days finally began to sink in, leaving her with more questions than answers. Were her and Jax even a thing, or was it over? They hadn't made any sort of plans to see or talk to each other again when they said goodbye, so maybe all their rekindled romance would amount to was one beautiful weekend. Was it even worth fighting with Chibs about? Jax could be on his way back home, for all Tara knew, never to be seen or heard from again. She hadn't even thought to get his number. The thought of Jax disappearing as abruptly as he'd reappeared made her sick to her stomach.

She looked up at Chibs, remembering exactly why she _did_ need to talk to him about this. "What are you going to do to him?" she asked quietly. "Please don't hurt him."

Chibs was visibly taken aback. "Hurt him? Nobody's going to hurt him." He'd never lied to Tara before, and it made her angry.

"I saw Tig and Half-Sack at Saul's Friday night. They were looking for him. They were going to…"

"What?" Chibs looked surprised. Lying to Tara was one thing, but putting on some big, fake act was another.

"Don't pretend you didn't know," she accused.

Chibs shook his head, standing up and pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I didn't," he promised. "And I doubt Clay did, either."

Tara's brow furrowed with worry. "Chibs, what is going on?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'll handle it." He headed toward the door, dialing a number into his phone, probably Clay's. "We'll finish this later. You just…just get yourself cleaned up."

Before Tara could respond, Chibs was out the door. Normally, he wouldn't have thought twice about handling club business in front of her. But it was clear to them both that a line was forming in the sand, and they were on opposite sides of it. Tara hated to think of Chibs as her enemy. He was right. They were family. But she could never side against Jax. She was sure of that.

* * *

Tara struggled through work Monday, feeling like a zombie. She'd tossed and turned all night, thinking about Jax and Chibs and the club. Just a few minutes with Chibs had turned her perfect weekend into a waking nightmare. She was a ball of raw nerves, ready to break down at any moment, counting down the last few minutes of the day until she could go home. She was just finishing up administering vaccines to a very tightly wound chihuahua when the intercom in her exam room crackled to life.

"Tara," the receptionist called unenthusiastically. "Come to the front for a moment please." Tara removed her rubber gloves, washed her hands, and meandered slowly down the long hall leading to the reception area. The waiting room was empty, save for the young redhead behind the counter and the giant bouquet of red roses beside her.

"What's up, Krista?" she asked, feeling jealous of the young receptionist, who had recently embarked on yet another new relationship. Nobody ever gave Tara flowers, unless you counted the dandelions Sophie sometimes picked for her.

"For you," Krista said, shoving her thumb toward bouquet before turning back to her computer. Tara was stunned. _For her?_ With shaking hands, she reached for the small white card stuck between two immaculate flowers. On it was one simple, handwritten word. _Hi_. She gasped, her heart racing. Krista looked up at her, intrigued.

"Who are thooooose from?" she goaded. "The delivery guy was super hot, by the way. Had this younger, blonder Brad Pitt thing going on." Without a word, Tara raced to the door. In the parking lot, leaning against his rental car, was Jax Teller with his arms crossed casually over his chest. When he caught sight of Tara, he raised his sunglasses and winked, a wicked smile forming on his lips.

"Oh. My. God," Tara giggled, suddenly very aware of the fact that Krista was practically on top of her, staring out the window with her.

"Oh. My. God," Krista repeated, in disbelief. Normally, Tara would have taken a moment to enjoy the young beauty's jealousy. Nobody was ever jealous of Tara. But she was too anxious to get to Jax to care about anything else. She pushed open the door, forgetting about her flowers, about Krista, and about Chibs. Only one thing mattered. And he was standing right in front of her.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you doing here?" Tara whispered, immediately realizing how silly she sounded. There was no one around to hear her besides Jax. The parking lot was empty.

"Taking my girl to dinner," he announced, pushing away from his car to close the distance between them. Tara's thoughts lingered on the words _my girl_. They made her smile. _Was she really his girl_? In her mind, she'd never been anything else.

"You're not supposed to be here," she objected, looking around nervously.

Jax scowled. "Do you not want me here?"

"No, I do. It's just…I thought we agreed that you would stay out of Charming until I talked to Chibs."

"And you did," Jax said plainly. _How did he know that?_ "Clay called," he explained. "Seems our boy Tig went rogue Friday night. Wasn't a club hit or anything. Don't get me wrong, they want me gone. But not in the permanent sort of way you seem to be so worried about. And I'm not going anywhere until my business is finished."

"And what business is that?" Tara inquired.

"Right now? Taking you out to dinner." Jax smiled, reaching his arms out to her. She retreated, looking herself up and down. Jax did the same.

"I'm…disgusting," she said.

"I think you look hot," Jax argued, taking a step closer.

"I smell like wet dog."

Jax chuckled. "Fine. You can go home and change before dinner. But not before this." He took Tara's face in his hands and kissed her. She held back only for a moment, then quickly gave in. She slung her arms around his neck and pressed her body longingly against his as their tongues worked together in perfect rhythm. Her stress faded away. Jax was just the balm she needed to treat her wounded psyche.

"Daaaaamn, Tara," a familiar voice called from across the parking lot. She quickly pulled away from Jax and spun around to find Krista, along with the other veterinary assistant and the doctor they all worked for, watching her public display of affection. Her cheeks flushed scarlet.

"Sorry," she apologized, praying the trio would just continue on to their cars. No such luck. Krista stalked toward them, not taking her eyes off of Jax. The other two followed.

"Nice work, Knowles," she teased. "I'm Krista." She offered a hand to Jax, almost as if she expected him to kiss it.

"Nice to meet you, Krista, I'm Jax." He shook her hand instead. Tara was thankful for that.

"So you're the reason Tara's been a hot mess all day," Krista said with a smile. Tara looked at the ground, hoping Jax couldn't tell how embarrassed she was.

"Well, I certainly hope so," he responded, placing his hand on the small of Tara's back. His touch soothed her instantly. She smiled.

"Jax, this is Allison," Tara said, motioning to the middle-aged blonde to Krista's right, "and our boss, Dr. Shaw."

"Jax Teller," Jax said, smiling as he shook both of their hands.

"Teller?" Dr. Shaw asked, raising an intrigued eyebrow. He was a good five years younger than Jax and Tara, so there was no chance he remembered Jax from school. "I had a childhood friend that was a Teller. Tommy Teller." The name hung in the air for a long moment as Jax struggled to maintain his composure. He pressed his lips together tightly, his eyes becoming misty.

"Thomas was Jax's little brother," Tara explained. "What a small world." Dr. Shaw nodded in agreement, running a hand through his dark hair. She didn't remember Thomas hanging around a lanky Native American boy growing up, but she didn't know Thomas all that well. He died long before she and Jax started dating. "Well, we have to get going," she apologized, patting Jax's chest, hoping to bring him out of whatever thought he was lost in.

The group said their goodbyes, then headed to their respective vehicles. Tara had originally planned on having Jax follow her to her house, or even just meeting him at the restaurant, but she didn't want to leave him alone now.

"Are you okay to drive?" she asked. Jax nodded, getting into the driver's seat without a word. Tara climbed in beside him and watched as he tried to put the key in the ignition with shaking hands. She placed a steadying hand over his. "Jax," she said quietly.

He hung his head and took a deep breath. "I'll be alright," he assured her. "It's just been a long time since anybody's talked to me about Thomas, that's all." For the first time, Tara considered how much Jax had given up when he left, beyond just her. He gave up his family, his club, his history. He'd left his entire life in Charming. And now he was having to face it all again.

* * *

Tara's house looked much smaller to her than it ever had before, as she attempted to look at it through Jax's eyes. He probably lived somewhere fabulous. "This is it," she said meekly, directing him toward a modest blue ranch with white shutters and a slightly overgrown lawn. Jax turned into the driveway and smiled. "I know, lame," Tara mumbled.

"No," Jax said, shaking his head. "This is exactly how I pictured my own house, back when I thought I would live in Charming forever." He got out of the car and slowly made his way up the walk, answering Tara's question about whether or not he wanted to come in before she'd even asked it. With butterflies in her stomach, Tara followed him. She dug her keys out of her purse as she reached the front porch, where Jax seemed to be admiring the shabby all-seasons wreath that hung from the door. She took a deep breath and unlocked the door. At least her house was somewhat clean.

"Home sweet home," she sighed, not daring to look back at Jax as she walked into the living room. She didn't want to see the look of pity that surely permeated his perfect face. "You can just…have a seat, have a beer, I guess. I'll be as quick as possible. She set her purse on the coffee table and turned to head down the hall. Jax, standing right behind her, caught her off guard.

He kissed her on the cheek, his lips lingering near her ear. "Take your time," he whispered. "I'm not goin' anywhere."

* * *

Her hair was still somewhat wet as she ran her fingers through it one final time, thankful for her naturally wavy locks. She'd taken the world's fastest shower, raking a razor up her legs so quickly, she cut herself in three different places. She threw on her tightest jeans and her most cleavage bearing blouse, then dabbed powder on her flushed cheeks and applied a thin layer of mascara. By her standards, she was dressed up. Next to Jax, she would still look like a bum. But that would always be the case, no matter how much time she took to get ready. She never understood what he saw in her, but she was glad as hell that he saw it.

She hurried down the hall, back toward the living room, afraid she'd left him waiting for too long. She found him seated in the leather recliner near her bookshelf, an open photo album in his lap. She cringed.

"Hey," she said, trying to sound casual. Jax looked up, letting out a playful whistle as he studied Tara's wardrobe change.

"You clean up nice, Knowles," he teased. She felt warmth rise in her cheeks.

"Thanks. You ready?"

"Your daughter's beautiful," he observed, turning his attention back to the photo album. "How old is she?"

"Sophie's four," Tara said nervously. "Well, almost five."

"And you and Chibs?" Tara had never much considered how many photos of Chibs she kept around the house. Sophie loved to look at pictures of her da, especially since she often went weeks without seeing him.

"Just friends," she assured him. "I told you that, Jax."

Jax nodded, his eyes fixed on the photo album. "I mean…not_ just_ friends, though, right?" Tara sighed, seating herself in the chair opposite him. She laced her fingers together in an effort to stay calm. This was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"Are we really going to do this now?" she asked. "You want to talk about this right now?"

Jax smirked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "We've gotta talk about it eventually, Tara. Why not now?"

"Alright," she sighed, her eyes locked on his. "Let's talk about it. Chibs and I were never a thing. We will never be a thing. We're just friends who fooled around a few times out of boredom and loneliness, and ended up having a child together as a result. It wasn't planned, but it happened. And I wouldn't change it even if I could. Sophie is...she's the absolute love of my life. And she means everything to Chibs. He takes care of her and watches over us both, but aside from that, we have completely separate lives. Is that what you wanted to know?"

Jax's eyes were unreadable. He was quiet for a long moment before speaking. "Yeah. I guess that's what I wanted to know."

"And are you okay with that?" Tara's voice was shaky, unsure. The way Jax answered her question could change everything. He looked down at the book full of photos of Sophie that was sitting in his lap. Sophie on the swing set at the clubhouse. Sophie sitting on her dad's bike, wearing a big ol' helmet and an even bigger smile. Sophie and Tara at the beach. Sophie and Gemma playing checkers in the clubhouse. This little girl who was a complete stranger to Jax had stolen the life he always thought his own children would have. How could Jax possibly be okay with that? Tara tried to prepare herself for his rejection, but she knew it would crush her just the same.

He inhaled sharply, his bulging chest stretching the fabric that clung to it. "Tara, I'm not gonna lie to you and say it doesn't bother me that you had a kid with someone else. A member of the MC no less. I know it was dumb of me to come back after ten years and hope that you'd still be waiting for me. I should have known you'd move on. I just didn't expect…I guess I should just be glad you're not married, right?" Jax chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

Tara shook her head. "I never moved on, Jax," she said quietly. "But I do have a daughter. And we've been skirting around that fact for the past three days. You're the one that wanted to talk about this, so now I'm asking- can you be okay with the fact that I have a child? With Chibs?"

"Well," Jax said, biting his lower lip as he set the photo album on the small table beside him and stood up. "If I wanna be in your life, I guess I have to be, don't I?" He reached a hand out to Tara and pulled her up so that they were face to face. "Besides, she's a part of you, right? How could I not love her?" Tara smiled and brushed her thumb across Jax's perfect lips, parting them just slightly. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him, keeping it brief so as not to get too carried away. Jax responded just like she hoped he would, by pulling her close and pressing his hips against hers.

"Let's go," she whispered against his lips. "I'm starving." Jax groaned as he released her, then followed her out the door.

* * *

"Even better than I remembered," Jax mumbled, wiping pizza sauce from his mouth with a cloth napkin as he chewed. Tara looked around nervously. While Tony's did have the best pizza in Charming, it was also a SAMCRO hotspot. She tried to talk Jax into going somewhere else, anywhere else, but he had his heart set on Tony's. He swore it was because of the pizza, but Tara had a feeling it was more to make a statement. To let the club know that he wasn't hiding, he wasn't scared of them. And that was a dangerous statement to make. Jax scowled across the table at Tara's full plate. "Not hungry?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Not overly," she lied. She hadn't eaten all day. She would probably be absolutely famished if her stomach wasn't twisted into a thousand knots. Jax abruptly dropped his half-eaten piece of pizza on to his plate and placed his hands on the table. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"If you're not eating, I'm not eating," he declared.

Tara laughed. "Come on." Jax crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows in defiance. Tara sighed, then picked her pizza up off her place and took a giant bite, almost too big for her mouth. She held her napkin in front of her face as she chewed, glad Jax had forced her to eat. She really was hungry. Jax chuckled, satisfied, which made Tara want to laugh, which only made it harder for her to chew.

"Mommy?" called a little voice from across the restaurant. Tara's eyes went wide as she tried frantically to swallow her food. "Mommy!" Sophie raced across the room, cutting right through the line of people waiting for their takeout orders without a care. She looked bigger. Like an older, different version of the little girl Tara had left with Chibs just three days prior. She stood instinctively, holding her arms out so that Sophie could run into them.

"Hi, baby!" Tara squealed, clapping her hands. As much as she enjoyed her free time, she missed Sophie terribly when they were apart. She lifted her daughter into her arms and squeezed her tightly. "What are you doing here? "

"Me and Daddy are pickin' up a pizza," Sophie explained, her small hands pressed to her mother's cheeks. Tara's heart dropped. Right behind Sophie was Chibs. And right behind Tara was Jax. "Mama, who's that?" Sophie asked, pointing a chubby little hand in Jax's direction.

"Yeah, Mama," Chibs sneered. "Who's that?" Jax stood quickly, smashing his knees against the underside of the table, causing plates and glasses to clang together. Tara stared at him, wide-eyed, as he approached Chibs with confidence, his jaw set.

"Chibs," he said firmly, offering his hand. "It's been a long time." Chibs looked at Jax's hand hovering in the space between them, and then shoved his own hands into his pockets, smacking his lips in disgust.

"I'm Sophie," the little girl said, unintentionally easing the tension. Tara had never been more thankful for her daughter's complete lack of regard for her number one rule: Never talk to strangers.

Jax turned to Tara and Sophie, his expression softening instantly. "Hi, Sophie," he said kindly. "My name's Jax. I'm an old friend of your mom's. It's really nice to meet you. I've heard lots of wonderful things about you."

Sophie nodded, smiling as she tucked her chin to her chest like she always did when she was feeling shy. "Did my mom tell you I'm going to be five soon? And Gemma's throwing me a princess party!"

Jax grimaced at the mention of his mother's name. "No, she didn't tell me that, but it sounds awesome. I bet you'll be the prettiest princess there." Sophie blushed.

"What do you say, Soph?" Tara prodded.

"Thaaaank you," she mumbled sheepishly. She gasped, her face lighting up as a thought occurred to her. "Mama, can he come to my party?" She looked at Jax excitedly. "Will you come to my party?" Jax shot Tara a worried glance. He was like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Aaaalriiight," Chibs interrupted, prying his daughter from Tara's arms. "Our pizza's gettin' cold. Tell yer ma goodbye."

"Bye, Mama," Sophie said quietly, pouting just a bit. Tara couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like her little girl might have her first crush.

Tara kissed her on the forehead. "Bye, sweetheart. I'll see you in a couple days. You be good for your dad."

Without a word, Chibs headed for the door, Sophie in one arm and a pizza box in the other. He stared Jax down as he passed him. Jax's expression remained pleasant, but he refused to back down, not taking his eyes off of Chibs. As they reached the exit, Sophie waved to Tara and Jax, smiling and giggling. Tara blew her a kiss before sitting back down at her table.

"Well that was awkward," Jax breathed, taking a long drink of his water. Tara laughed so she wouldn't cry.

"Yeah," she agreed. "It was somethin'."


	6. Chapter 6

Tara loved the sight of Jax Teller asleep in her bed, so much so that for the third night in a row, she was wide awake when she should have been sleeping. She couldn't help herself. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. It was like falling in love all over again, even though she'd never stopped loving him in the first place. He was sleeping soundly, a peaceful smile on his face, his arm wrapped contently around her. She was torn between sliding her hand below the sheets, where Jax's nude body awaited her, and waking him up for another round of love making, or trying to go to sleep herself. She really did need to sleep at some point. As she was trying to decide, a third option presented itself, in the form of a knock at the front door.

She sat up and reached for the silk robe hanging on her bedpost, trying not to disturb Jax, who remained oblivious. She tied the robe tightly around her naked self, then tiptoed down the hall, wishing she'd grabbed a baseball bat. But then, burglars rarely knocked, so she probably wasn't in too much danger. She peeked through the living room window, relieved and horrified at the same time when she saw who was standing on her front porch.

"Gemma," she whispered, opening the door just enough that the two women could talk, but not so much that Gemma would feel invited in. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Gemma's eyes narrowed as she pushed past Tara and marched into the living room.

"Where is he?" she accused. Tara pressed her hand to her heart to try to keep it from racing as she closed the door, not sure it was a good idea to trap Jax and Gemma in close quarters.

"What are you doing here, Gemma?" she whispered, hoping Jax was still asleep. Gemma looked down the hall, which was dark and quiet. Tara stood between her and it. Normally, this wouldn't have concerned Tara. But there was something about the look in Gemma's eyes and the smell of alcohol on her breath that terrified her. This was not the woman she knew, the one she entrusted to care for her daughter as a sort of surrogate grandmother. This was Jax Teller's mother, the crazy, overbearing, unpredictable nightmare she'd been so afraid of as a teenager.

"I need to see him." Gemma moved toward the hall, but Tara moved with her, blocking her path.

She raised her hands in good faith. "Gemma, you're drunk."

"Don't you tell me what I am, you little bitch," Gemma hissed, trying to push past her. Tara grabbed her shoulders and shoved her backwards, a territorial rage overtaking her.

"You need to leave," she warned. "This is my house, and you will not…"

"Tara?" Jax's voice was still heavy with sleep. Tara turned, watching in horror as Jax sauntered toward her, still fumbling with his belt buckle on the jeans that hung haphazardly from his hips.

"Hello, son," Gemma sneered, taking a step back and stumbling in the process.

"Mom? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Gemma chortled as she tried to regain her balance. "What am I doing here…" she mumbled. "What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here, Jackson?" She began fumbling around in her purse, likely for a flask or her cigarettes.

"I just came to visit," Jax said quietly. "I was hoping we could talk, but not like this, so…" He just came to visit. Tara knew that, but hearing him say out loud that he had no intention of staying was like a slap in the face.

"You need to leave," Gemma announced abruptly. Jax recoiled from the sting of her words.

"Gemma," Tara said, using the same voice she used with Sophie when she was on the verge of a meltdown.

"You shut up!" Gemma yelled. I am talking to my…I am talking to him." Jax stepped forward, shielding Tara. He'd always protected her from his crazy mother when they were younger. Tara thought they were past that. Apparently, she was wrong.

"Mom, let's just calm down."

Gemma shook her head. "Don't try to placate me, Jackson. That's all anyone's been trying to do since you got here. Keep me calm. Keep my mind off of it. Unfortunately for you," she said, pulling something small and shiny from her bag, "that isn't working." Tara's eyes widened as the gun shook in Gemma's unsteady hands. "So you need to leave. Now. That's the only solution."

Tara wanted to protect Jax, but he gave her no way to do so. He pulled her behind him, so that she was almost completely hidden from Gemma. "Mom, put the gun down." He wasn't as concerned as he should have been. He was underestimating his mother. Tara wasn't.

"Gemma, stop this," Tara pleaded. "You don't want to hurt him. He's your son." Gemma's chin quivered. Black mascara was smudged around her eyes, making them look even darker and more menacing than usual.

"My son? I have no son. My son died when he was a little boy. You-" she glared at Jax, who was struggling to maintain his composure. "You are not my son. You are a traitor." To the SAMCRO family, a traitor was the worst thing you could be- an offense punishable by death. And Tara had no doubt that Gemma was capable of carrying out such a sentence. There was no way Jax was going to get through to her. Tara was going to have to do it.

"Okay, so he's a traitor," Tara agreed, feeling instantly guilty for insulting Jax. "You're going to kill him right here in the middle of my living room, where you watch Disney movies with Sophie?" Sophie was always Tara's ace in the hole when it came to Gemma, and she knew it. The frantic woman's face softened instantly, but not enough to ease Tara's mind. "You don't want to ruin your life over this, Gemma. You've got a good life. If you don't want him to be a part of it, that's fine. But you don't want to kill him." Tara wasn't sure which was worse, the intensity of the heartbreak in Gemma's eyes, or the way Jax seemed to crumble beneath the weight of it.

This was all Tara's fault. She was the one who'd convinced Jax to leave Charming, begged him to give up his birthright. He betrayed his family for her. And then she betrayed him by staying. She saw that now. For years, she was too angry with him for leaving, caught up in her own pain, to see anything else. He was out in the big, wide world she'd always longed to be a part of, while she was trapped in the cesspool she was doomed to spend her entire life in, not by his doing, but by fate's. But now, faced with the reality of all Jax had lost as the woman who'd once worshiped him stood in Tara's living room, ready to murder her own son, now it was all crystal clear. Jax had every reason to loathe Tara. And yet there he was, shielding her body with his own, trying to keep her safe, the same way he'd done so many times when they were younger. Despite the circumstance, or maybe because of it, Tara's heart swelled. She had the love of an amazing man, regardless of whether or not she deserved it. She'd wronged him once, but she had a chance to make things right now. And she would. She had to.

Tara steeled herself to do something bold, something reckless that might very well get her killed. Jax still had his arms wrapped around her, but his hold had weakened. If she moved quickly, caught him off guard, she could break free and put herself between him and Gemma. She had to hope that Gemma's love for Sophie would keep her from pulling the trigger. Her heart pounded as she tried to find the strength in her rubbery legs and arms to overpower a distraught Jax. But before she could act, her good intentions were drowned out by the roar of motorcycles tearing down her quiet street.

Gemma's eyes widened as the windows shook, then settled in the following silence. Rumbling engines gave way to boots shuffling against pavement as the SAMCRO crew descended upon Tara's house, not bothering to knock before entering. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or afraid. By the way every muscle in Jax's body tensed up, it seemed he wasn't sure either.

"Gem!" Clay's booming voice sliced through the tension in the room, but added its own ominous element. "The hell you doing?" Gemma followed her husband's gaze to the gun in her hand, looking at it as if she had no idea where it came from. Clay stood with his arms outstretched, keeping his crew at bay. He knew his wife better than anyone. If she felt cornered, she would very likely lash out. And with a loaded gun in her hand, that would be bad for everyone. Flanking Clay's sides were Bobby, Opie, Happy, and Piney. Tara was relieved Chibs wasn't there, but she had no doubt that he knew something was going down. And he would blame Jax.

Jax didn't take his eyes off of his mother, despite the threatening new presence in the room.

"Gemma," Clay said again, taking a step toward his wife. "Gimme the gun." He knew better than to try to take it from her, so he held one of his giant, arthritic hands out, palm up. "Please." Gemma looked from the gun in her hand to her husband, then back again, trying to decide which one was more important to her in that moment. Tara held her breath. Finally, Gemma's shoulders slumped in defeat as she lowered the gun and removed her finger from the trigger. Clay moved swiftly, taking the gun and wrapping Gemma in a comforting embrace all in one motion. She collapsed into him, burying her face in his chest. "It's okay, baby," he soothed.

Jax relaxed for just a second before realizing he was still in danger. Gemma might not have a gun anymore, but the rest of them still did. And Jax was not among friends. While Clay consoled Gemma, the other members of SAMCRO clubhouse focused their hardened gazes on Jax, like it was his fault Gemma had nearly murdered him in cold blood. Tara supposed that to them, it was.

"What the hell happened?" Piney growled.

"She just…" Tara started to explain, but didn't know what to say. She had no idea what prompted Gemma's rampage.

"Can I have a minute with my wife?" Clay asked. Without a word, his disciples began filing out of the room, spilling onto Tara's front lawn. Tara's initial reaction was to refuse to leave her own home in the middle of the night- who the hell did the Morrows think they were? But then she realized it was probably best not to leave the uncouth bikers unattended, what with the rest of the neighborhood still asleep. She took Jax's hand and led him outside, hoping the worst was over.

Bobby and Piney stood near their bikes, talking in hushed voices. Happy was on his phone, offering apologies and false excuses, probably to whatever crow eater he'd abandoned in his bed when Clay called. Opie stood on the edge of the front lawn, taking quick, tense puffs from the cigarette between his fingers. Jax hesitated as Tara led him toward his former best friend. Tara offered him a reassuring smile. She'd remained close with Opie and Donna over the years. When Jax left, they were the only friends she had. Opie might not be happy about having Jax in town, but he certainly wouldn't hurt him.

"Hey, Ope," she said as she approached. "How'd you guys know to come here?"

"Wasn't hard to figure out," Opie explained, avoiding eye contact with Jax, who was standing awkwardly by, shirtless, upset, unsure. "Clay said she started drinkin' before dinner. The more wasted she got, the more she talked about Jax. So when he woke up in the middle of the night and found her missing, he had a pretty good idea of where she went."

Tara nodded in understanding, crossing her arms over her chest. She was still wearing nothing but a thin silk robe, and the night air was chilly. "Well I'm glad you guys got here when you did. She was completely…unhinged."

Opie chuckled. "I noticed." He turned to Tara, and found himself face to face with Jax. As well as Tara knew him, she had no clue what he was thinking. His eyes were dark, sad.

"Hey, man," Jax said quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Opie nodded, but didn't say a word. He flicked his cigarette stub into the road and reached inside his kutte to pull out his pack for another. He flipped open the box and pushed it towards Jax, a peace offering. Jax took one and nodded, pinching it between his lips. "Thanks."

Opie nodded and smiled, tossing Jax his lighter. Jax lit his cigarette and took a long drag. Opie lit his own cigarette, then tucked the nearly empty box and lighter back into his kutte. The two men smoked together in silence, both staring out into the darkness of night, Tara feeling a bit like a third wheel. She smiled, watching the two of them together. It wasn't much, but it was something. It was progress. Tara jumped when the screen door slammed shut. She spun around to find Clay and Gemma standing on the front porch, the frail woman looking a bit more stable.

"We good, pres?" Bobby asked.

Clay nodded. "Let's get out of here. Tara, is it alright if I pick my bike up in the morning? I'm gonna drive Gemma's car home."

"Of course," Tara agreed. She and Jax stood quietly by as Clay, Gemma, and the guys took off without a word, leaving devastation in their wake, as usual. Tara knew the worst was still to come for her. She would have to answer to Chibs, and she couldn't imagine any scenario in which that would go well. But for Jax, there could be nothing worse than being threatened by his own mother, treated like a stranger by his best friend, and completely disregarded by men he'd once considered family. Tara allowed him his space as he headed back into the house. She looked up at the stars, taking a deep breath. She wished there was a way for her to fix things, to make them better for everyone. She knew she wasn't responsible for Gemma's actions, but she still felt guilty. If she hadn't asked Jax to leave Charming with her years ago, none of this would be happening. Everything would be different.

She sauntered slowly toward the front door, locking and double bolting it behind her. Jax wasn't in the living room. She made her way to the bedroom, but he wasn't there either.

"Jax?" she called, trying to keep the worry from her voice.

"Out here," he called back. She found him in the back yard, making use of Sophie's swing set.

"May I?" she asked, motioning to the swing beside him. He nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. She sat down, reaching for his hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly. Tara knew better.

"Well I'm not."

"Sorry," Jax said.

"You have nothing to apologize for. None of this is your fault."

"Isn't it?" Jax looked up at her, his eyes full of tears.

"No," Tara said. "It's mine." Jax frowned. "I'm the reason you left Charming, so we could start a new life away from all of this. I'm the reason you gave up your family, your club. And then I didn't even…" she stopped, her throat closing up. She shook her head, wiping away tears. "I'm sorry, Jax. I'm so sorry." Jax turned his swing so that he was facing Tara, then twisted the chains on her swing until she was doing the same. He took her hands in his.

"Don't be sorry," he said. "I made the choice to leave. I could have stayed, tried to get Gemma and Clay and the club to forgive me, but I didn't. That was my choice."

"You wouldn't have left if it wasn't for me," Tara argued.

"That's true," Jax agreed. "But I also wouldn't have made anything of my life. Seeing the guys now, knowing how close I came to being just like them…I couldn't even imagine it at this point in my life. And that's crazy to me, because growing up, all I wanted was a Harley and a kutte. You gave me a different life, Tara. A better one."

"I should have gone with you," she whispered.

Jax shook his head and smiled. "No. If you'd gone with me, you wouldn't have your beautiful daughter. It hurt like hell at the time, but everything happened the way it was supposed to. And now we're together and…"

"And what?" Tara's voice was hopeful. Her heart was racing.

"I don't know," Jax admitted. "I have no idea what we're doing. All I know is…" He bit his lip to stop his thought in its tracks.

"All you know is what, Jax?" Tara raised her eyebrows. Jax exhaled slowly, his nervous breath ragged in his chest.

"All I know," he said with an unsure smile, "is that I love you, Tara. I always have, and I always will." Tara pressed her lips together to try to minimize her excitement. She was afraid that any minute, she would wake up, and it would all just be a dream. She closed her eyes, sure Jax would be gone when she opened them. But he was still right there beside her. And he loved her.

"I love you too, Jax," she confessed. "So much." Jax leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. Her stress vanished instantly. For the first time in years, she felt like herself again. She felt…whole.


	7. Chapter 7

Jax and Tara spent the rest of the week in their own personal bubble, closed off from the rest of the world. They fell into the easy routine of a couple that had been together for years, despite the fact that it had been mere days. They woke up in each other's arms every morning, Tara dragging out the process of getting ready for work for as long as she could, wanting just one more moment, one more kiss, one more smile from Jax. She kept herself busy at the animal clinic, hoping it would help the hours pass faster. It never did. She felt the anguish of every second she spent separated from Jax. He would spend his days doing whatever it was he did- Tara didn't ask- and then in the evenings, they would have dinner together, talk, watch movies, and more often than not, spend hours making love before they fell into an exhausted slumber, their hearts beating in rhythm as they slept.

It was a glimpse into the life Tara had always wondered about- what things would have been like had she and Jax stayed together. She knew he was right- things happened the way they were supposed to. She couldn't imagine her life without Sophie. Still, it broke her heart to think of all the years she spent alone that she could have spent with Jax.

Their week together was one big blur of surreal bliss, a dream come true for them both. But every bubble must burst eventually, and for Tara and Jax, that happened on a Friday morning, exactly one week after he walked back into her world and flipped it upside down.

"What time are you picking up Sophie?" he asked, trying to hide the disappointment from his voice. Tara could tell he was attempting to navigate the topic without setting off a landmine. He wanted her to know how displeased he was about having to leave her, without making it sound like he didn't want her daughter in the picture. Tara understood the feeling all too well, and it made her feel like shit.

Never had she gone almost an entire week without seeing her daughter. She should have been ecstatic to get her back, and she was…but Sophie coming home meant that she and Jax were done playing house. And that definitely put a damper on what would have otherwise been a perfect day.

"Right after work," Tara said, rinsing off her toothbrush before putting it back in the owl shaped toothbrush holder Sophie had picked out. "So I guess this is goodbye." Her voice caught in her throat.

Jax smiled a sad little smile and pulled her into him. He was still wearing only his boxers, and Tara longed to take them off him and lure him back into bed. But she was already showered and ready for work, and already running late. She'd been late the last three days in a row, and it was her morning to open the clinic. She had to go.

"So dramatic," Jax murmured, his lips moving against her ear as he held her. He kissed her on the forehead, then took her hands in his. "This isn't goodbye. You're getting your kid back. That doesn't change anything between us."

Tara shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. "It changes everything," she whispered. "With Sophie here, we can't…"

"We can't what? Tara, I love kids, and I think…"

"Stop," Tara interrupted. She couldn't listen to anymore. All week she'd been trying to figure out a way to make it work, Jax and Sophie. But it wouldn't. It couldn't. No matter how much she loved Jax, or how important he was to her, he was a stranger to her daughter. And she couldn't move a stranger in with them. She'd never brought a man around Sophie before, and she couldn't just insert Jax into their lives. She couldn't even have him around Sophie as a friend, what with him and Chibs being mortal enemies. She would only ever be able to see Jax when Sophie was away. And by the time Chibs took her for any length of time again, Jax would probably be long gone, back home. This was it. The end of the fairytale.

"I get it," Jax breathed. "Too soon. She's little, shit's complicated. You're not ready for her to meet mommy's boyfriend yet." Boyfriend? Despite their declaration of love the night Gemma nearly killed them, they'd not defined their relationship. The word made Tara's insides feel like liquid. She was worried she might melt into a puddle at Jax's feet. Boyfriend. Okay. "We'll just have to be creative for a while, until the time is right. We'll figure it out. But this is not goodbye."

Tara wanted so badly to believe him. But he was underestimating how all-consuming Sophie was. Tara was barely allowed to shower alone when Sophie was home. She certainly wouldn't be able to carry on an illicit affair right under her daughter's nose without her noticing.

"I hope not," she said shakily.

"It's not," Jax promised her. "We'll figure it out." He cradled Tara's face in his hands, the way that she loved so much, and kissed her. Despite her many worries, her muscles went lax and her mind went blank. She had no idea how Jax did that to her, but she never wanted it to stop. In danger of letting things go too far and being late for work again, Tara pulled away.

"I gotta go."

Jax pursed his lips and nodded. "I'll be gone by the time you and the kid get back." With a deep breath, Tara made her way toward the door. "Hey Knowles," Jax called after her. She turned around. "Love you."

"Love you back," she said with a smile.

* * *

It had only been a week since Tara's last visit to the clubhouse, but it all felt very different to her as she sat at her usual table, waiting for Chibs to arrive with Sophie. She assumed Gemma was somewhere in the back, as her car was parked out front, but she remained out of sight. Tara was sure she was avoiding her, but whether it was out of anger or out of shame, she had no idea. The crow eaters that usually fawned all over Tara and Sophie kept to themselves, shooting dirty looks at Tara from across the room. Jealous. They were jealous. There wasn't a single one of them who would've turned Jax Teller down for a date, club enemy or not. They weren't upset with her on principle. They just wanted what she had. And that knowledge made her smile a bit, even though her stomach was twisted into knots.

She'd called Jax on her way from the clinic to the clubhouse, and he'd assured her that the coast was clear- not a trace of him was left in her house. What an empty feeling. It reminded her how quickly he'd disappeared from her life the first time, and how much easier it would be for him to do again now.

Lost in thought, she didn't see the door to the clubhouse open. But she heard her daughter's sweet voice when she called out to her.

"Momma!" Tara was barely on her feet when Sophie threw her arms around her legs, nearly knocking her off balance.

"Hi, baby girl!" Tara squealed. "Let me look at you." She picked Sophie up and stood her on the table, so that the two of them were eye to eye. "Oh my gosh, you've grown!"

Sophie giggled. "No I haven't."

"Yes, you have!" Tara insisted. "Did you have fun with your dad this week?" Sophie nodded, chewing on her thumb, which was freshly polished with bright pink nail polish. She'd spent time with Gemma. For the first time, that thought made Tara uneasy. She picked Sophie up and squeezed her tight. "Ooooh, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Mommy. Can we go home now?"

Tara smiled. "Absolutely. I've got a special dinner planned and everything." As soon as she set Sophie down, the little girl raced toward the door, then impatiently hung on the handle, waiting for her mother to follow. Tara offered Chibs a small smile, but he didn't reciprocate. She picked Sophie's bags up off the floor and headed toward the exit.

"Ay," Chibs said, catching her arm as she passed him. "I don't want that bum around my daughter." Tara rolled her eyes, feeling like an impetuous teenager being scolded by her father. "I mean it," Chibs warned. Although Tara had no intention of bringing Jax around Sophie any time soon, she resented being told what to do.

"She's my daughter, too," Tara said, trying to keep the rage from her voice. "And I will do what I please."

Chibs scoffed, letting go of her arm. "You are somethin' else, darlin'." Tara bit her lip to keep from firing back. The two of them had never fought in front of Sophie, and they weren't about to start now. "Why don't you ask your…your Prince Charming…what he's really doing here," Chibs suggested, almost seeming to taunt her. Tara glared at him, then followed Sophie out the door.

* * *

She was still fuming when she pulled into her driveway, but she wasn't going to let Chibs ruin her night with Sophie. She forced a smile as she helped her daughter out of the car, then held her hand as they made their way to the front door.

"What's for dinner, Momma?" Sophie asked, kicking her shoes off and tossing her jacket on the floor. And just like that, Tara's house was messier than it had been all week. She sighed, happy to have her little tornado home.

"Hmmm….I was thinking pancakes?" Sophie's eyes lit up. "And bacon?"

"Yes and yes! Can I help you? Can we make smiley face pancakes?"

Tara laughed. "Yes and yes." Sophie ran into the kitchen, and Tara followed. At the same moment, they noticed the giant bouquet of pink daisies on the counter that separated the kitchen and dining room.

"Momma, look!" Sophie gasped. Tara couldn't keep the smile from her face. Of course Jax had made some grand romantic gesture before leaving. "Who are they from?"

"Well, I don't know," Tara lied. She watched Sophie try to count the flowers as she began getting the ingredients to make dinner out of the refrigerator.

"Oh, there's a card!" Sophie announced, plucking a little white piece of paper from the center of the bouquet. Tara watched in horror as her daughter studied the words, praying that whatever Jax had written was beyond her preschooler's reading comprehension. Sophie looked up at Tara, her eyes wide.

"Well?" Tara asked, trying to keep the tightness out of her voice.

"They're for me!" Sophie yelled. "Thank you, Mommy, I always wanted my own flowers!"

"They are?" Tara remained playful in an attempt to mask her surprise.

"Yup! It says, 'For Sophie.' And then some other stuff I can't read."

"Let me see if I can help you out with that," Tara offered, reaching for the card.

_For Sophie._

_Welcome home!_

Sophie was half right, they were definitely for her. But they weren't from Tara. Jax was too much. And he definitely knew how to get to Tara, in the most wonderful way.

* * *

The rest of the evening was uneventful. Tara and Sophie had dinner together, watched The Little Mermaid for the billionth time, and drew pictures of flowers and princesses. Tara gave Sophie a bath, then tucked her into bed, keeping her promise to stay with Sophie until she fell asleep.

She'd almost forgotten how exhausting her days were when they were full of work and Sophie. She was spent by the time her head hit the pillow. She'd intended to stay up long enough to call Jax, or at least send him a good night text, but one moment she was trying to convince herself to get back up out of bed to wash her face and brush her teeth, and the next, she was waking up to the sound of branches scraping against her bedroom window. She looked at the clock. It was nearly midnight. She'd been asleep for over three hours. She searched her bed for her cell phone, knowing it had to be close by. She found it under her pillow. Three missed calls from Jax. She thought about calling him back, but could feel the sleep setting back in already. She set the phone down on her nightstand, and rolled over in bed.

She nearly screamed when she saw a figure standing in her window. She realized at once that the scratching she heard wasn't a branch, it was a finger. She prayed the face that was slowly coming into focus would be familiar as she grabbed her phone, just in case, and jumped out of bed.

"Jax!" she hissed, both relieved and furious. She unlocked the window and slid it open. It was a cool evening, and goosebumps rose on her arms and the back of her neck. "Are you insane? What the hell are you doing? I could have shot you!"

Jax's brow furrowed. "You have a gun?"

"Well, no," Tara conceded. "But thank you for reminding me that I should definitely get one. Now get in here before the neighbors call the cops on the creepy guy lurking in the bushes." Tara reached her hands out to help him, but Jax pulled himself through the window with ease. It was something he'd had a lot of practice at in high school. He would drop Tara off in time for curfew, ditch his bike down the street, then sneak in through her bedroom window without her father being any the wiser. Except this time, it wasn't a parent they were trying to hide from, but a small girl with ears like a bat. Jax stood, straightening out his tight-clinging white tee and slicking back his hair before pulling Tara in for a kiss.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," she replied, still trying to get her heart rate to slow. Jax's lips worked convincingly to get her to forgive him for scaring her, as they moved to her jaw line and down her neck.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," he apologized. "I just needed to see you, and you weren't answering your phone."

"I was sleeping," Tara explained, letting her head fall back so that more of her neck was exposed. Jax grazed her collar bone with his fingertips, sending shivers down her spine. She'd just seen him that morning, but it felt like it had been days since they'd been together. Her body longed for him. Needed him. She allowed one last lucid thought before succumbing to his charm, and slipped away from him to lock her bedroom door. "Sophie hears…everything," she warned. "We have to be quiet." Jax accepted her challenge with a sly grin, then took to the task of removing her clothes one piece at a time.

"I missed you," he told her, laying her down on the bed. "I've been thinking about this all day." Tara's eyes rolled back in her head as Jax kissed every inch of her skin. When his lips found hers again, she unleashed every bit of her pent up passion into him, digging her nails into his back, pulling him into her. She bit her lower lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure, which seemed to encourage Jax to try that much harder to get her to break her vow of silence.

They'd made love dozens of times over the past week, but this time felt different to Tara. It was as if Jax was claiming her, making a statement, trying to show her that he wasn't going anywhere. "You're mine," his eyes said as their bodies moved in rhythm. She was his. She'd always been his. Jax seemed to sense this, and his body went rigid as he exploded inside of her. Tara covered his mouth with her hands as a precautionary measure. As he collapsed on top of her, his body still trembling slightly, he chuckled.

"Well that was new," he teased.

"Sorry," Tara said. "I just got worried that Sophie would hear us, and…" Jax kissed her to interrupt her.

"I get it." He rolled over, and she took her spot beside him, her body fitting perfectly against his, her head on his chest. "Speaking of Miss Sophie," Jax said, running his thumb up and down Tara's spine, "did she get my flowers?"

"She did," Tara said with a smile. "That was very sweet of you. You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," Jax said. "This shit with the club is gonna blow over soon enough, and when it does, I want to get to know Sophie so I can spend time with her and her momma." Tara closed her eyes and pictured it, the three of them together. A real family. Was it possible? Chibs would always be Sophie's dad, but he and Tara were never a real couple. Sophie had no concept of what it was like to have two parents living under the same roof. Would Jax be the one to give her that? Tara had always imagined she and Jax would raise children together.

Just as Tara began to doze off in Jax's arms, her doorknob rattled and her door shook, startling both her and Jax to full attention.

"Momma!" Sophie called out sleepily. "Momma, you accidentally locked your door." Tara sprang out of bed, scrambling to find her clothes in the darkness.

"Just a second," she called back. "I'll be right there, sweetie!" She put on a white t-shirt she found on her floor, then put her panties back on and covered herself with her robe, tying it tightly. She turned to Jax. "I'm sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can." He sat up in bed and reached for her, pulling her toward him when she took his hand. He gave her a long, sweet kiss.

"Take your time," he whispered. Tara slipped carefully out of the room, making sure her daughter didn't get a glimpse of the stranger in her bed.

Sophie'd had a bad dream. And needed water. And needed to go to the bathroom, but not without someone standing guard. When all of that was said and done, Tara climbed into Sophie's twin sized bed with her and prayed her little girl would fall back to sleep quickly. She didn't, of course, and over an hour had passed before Tara was able to return to her room.

Her heart sank when she found her bed empty, no sign of Jax anywhere. With a heavy sigh, she removed her robe, only then realizing that the t-shirt she'd put on in her haste to get to Sophie was Jax's. Had he really left her house half naked? She smiled at the mental image, breathing in the delicious scent of him still lingering on the white tee. She climbed back into bed and found a note on her pillow. She turned on her bedside lamp so that she could read it.

_I love you. Get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow._

_(And no, I'm not shirtless. I left a couple shirts in your bottom drawer. You keep that one.)_

Tara smiled. "I love you, too," she whispered. God, did she ever.


	8. Chapter 8

"I should come," Jax said with a grin. Tara looked up at him from across the dining room table, where she was addressing birthday party invitations. Sophie was with Chibs for the evening for the first time in nearly two weeks, so Tara and Jax didn't have to sneak around for a change. Well, technically, they were still sneaking. He'd been waiting around the block for Chibs and Sophie to leave, and would be gone by the time they got back. But still, it was nice to not have to hide in the bedroom and speak in whispers.

Tara laughed. "Oh, sure, that sounds like a good idea. Gemma would love that." She and Gemma still weren't on speaking terms, but Gemma had decided to go ahead with the over-the-top princess party she'd promised Sophie. Most information was relayed through Chibs, and when absolutely necessary, Gemma would communicate with Tara via text. Gemma was handling pretty much everything. Tara only had two jobs- invitations and Sophie's princess outfit for the party.

"I'm serious," Jax said, taking a bite of the apple pie he'd brought over for dessert.

"Then you're crazy," Tara argued.

Jax chuckled. "Just hear me out. We've been talking about me spending time with you and Sophie together, but I know you're worried about Chibs. He'll be at the birthday party, so he won't think you're trying to hide it from him, and there will be lots of people there, so it'll be neutral territory."

"Yes, lots of people," Tara said, sealing another envelope and stacking it on the 'done' pile. "Like the club, and your mother, and Clay. Not exactly what I'd call neutral territory."

Jax got up and walked around the table to where Tara was seated and stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I can handle myself," he said softly, massaging the tense muscles in her neck and back. She leaned into him and sighed. "Besides, Sophie _did_ invite me." Tara smiled, remembering Jax and Sophie's first meeting at the pizza place after he first got back into town. That seemed like so long ago. So much had changed in just a few short weeks.

"I know you can handle yourself. I just don't want anything to ruin Sophie's party." She closed her eyes, losing herself in the feeling of Jax's fingers on her skin as he slipped them underneath her shirt and ran them down her collar bone, toward the center of her chest, to the place where her bra fastened.

"Exactly," he said, his voice growing thick as he unhooked the clasp on her bra. "Neither does Gemma. That's why it's perfect. Everyone's terrified of my mother, so nobody would dare start shit at a little girl's birthday party. It'll be fine. Trust me."

Tara's thoughts grew hazy as Jax cupped her bare breasts with his hands and leaned over so that his lips were against her ear. He nibbled on her earlobe as she moaned quietly, then allowed his lips to travel down the side of her neck, making her shiver. Her worries faded away. She would give him anything he desired, so long as he gave her what she desired. As Jax unbuttoned her jeans and began to slide his fingers beneath her panty line, she surrendered.

"Okay," she whispered. Pleased with himself, Jax helped Tara out of her chair. Her back still to him, he pulled down her pants and panties in one swift movement, tossing them across the room. Her entire body was tingling with anticipation, keeping her from voicing any sort of objection to stripping down in the middle of the house while it was still light outside. Jax unbuckled his belt, his jeans falling to the floor, then kissed Tara's neck once more before grabbing her by the waist, bending her over the table, and taking her right there in the dining room.

* * *

The weather was gorgeous the day of Sophie's birthday party, which was a good thing since Gemma had rented out a park for the event. There was a pink bouncy castle, a small petting zoo, a DJ playing all of Sophie's favorite music, and more food than the crowd of thirty or so people gathered to celebrate Sophie's day could possibly eat.

Gemma was still somewhat icy towards Tara, but she was at least being pleasant about it in the interest of avoiding drama. Maybe Jax was right. Maybe the SAMCRO matriarch _could_ keep everyone in line for Sophie's sake. Tara certainly hoped so. While Sophie and her friends squealed over the baby goats that were eating out of their hands, and Chibs and the guys crowded around the grill, flipping burgers and hot dogs, Tara was setting paper plates and plastic silverware out as Gemma fussed over Sophie's ridiculously elaborate princess cake.

"Gemma, you really outdid yourself," Tara said, trying to make peace with her old friend. "Thank you so much."

"You unbelievable bitch," Gemma seethed. Startled, Tara froze. That was harsh even for Gemma. Tara turned to her, expecting to be met with the unyielding intensity of her death glare. But Gemma wasn't looking at her, she was looking past her, at something…someone…else.

Even though Tara knew he was coming, and her stomach had been in knots all day because of it, the sight of Jax walking toward her and the entirety of the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club caught her off guard. It was a bad idea. She knew that now. Whatever trickery Jax had used to convince her it would be okay seemed like complete nonsense as Clay and the guys puffed up their chests and murmured what were likely threats against Jax's life. Jax pretended not to notice. He offered Clay a quick nod as a show of respect, then made a beeline straight for Tara.

Her eyes were wide with fear as he approached. He stopped just short of her and leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek. To the casual witness, it would have looked completely platonic. But most of the folks in attendance at Sophie's party knew better. And so did Tara's skin where Jax's lips had touched her, as it turned bright red.

"Hey," he said casually, as if there weren't a dozen people staring the two of them up and down, wishing death upon them both. "Where's the birthday girl?" Tara cleared her throat to try to speak, but was interrupted.

"You came!" Sophie cheered excitedly, running up to Tara and Jax. "Momma, your friend came!" Tara smiled and nodded, her throat completely swollen shut. Chibs abandoned the grill and sauntered toward them, his eyes dark.

"Of course I did," Jax said, kneeling down to address Sophie. "Thank you for inviting me." Sophie smiled, swinging her arms back and forth nervously. Jax had that sort of flustering affect on all members of the opposite sex, it seemed. "Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you." He handed Sophie a hot pink envelope and whispered, "I didn't know what you'd like, so I just got you cash. Is that cool?" Sophie nodded. Jax winked at her, then let out a grunt as he stood back up, eye to eye with Tara and Chibs. "You have a lovely daughter," he said to Chibs. Chibs' eyes narrowed until they were barely visible.

"Sophie Anne," he said calmly, never taking his eyes from Jax. "Why don't you go jump with your friends in that castle contraption?"

Sophie giggled. "It's called a bounce house, Daddy."

"Aye," he replied, patting her on the head. "Run along, darlin'." Once Sophie was out of sight, he turned to Tara. Without a word, he grabbed her by the arm and led her away from Jax.

"Hey, man," Jax said, starting after them. Tara shot him a pleading look, begging him not to intervene. It would only make things worse. And Chibs wasn't going to hurt her, although his grip on her arm was quite a bit tighter than it needed to be. Jax clenched his jaw and obliged Tara's silent wish, watching like a hawk as Chibs and Tara stopped just near the trees that marked the end of the park.

"What the hell are you thinkin'?" Chibs snarled, his face just inches from Tara's. "How dare you bring him here!" She pulled back, her heart racing. She hated confrontation, but also had a wicked temper, which always made her awkward in a fight. Part of her wanted to cry and run away, and the other part wanted to rip Chibs' face off.

"Oh, what? You think I don't know that the cheap blonde who's been hanging all over you all day is your new fuck buddy? If she can be here, why can't Jax? At least we're in an actual relationship. At least he has enough tact to not maul me in front of our daughter, which is more than I can say for Miss Short Skirt over there." Something in Chibs' demeanor changed, and he loosened his grip on her arm. The anger faded from his eyes, and his voice softened when he spoke. Tara was confused. She expected the complete opposite reaction.

"Oy, Tara. That's different and you know it," he said. "You know why Jax doesn't belong here." Chibs didn't sound angry anymore, just tired.

"Jax and I are together now, Filip. You don't have to like it, but you do have to find a way to accept it. Sophie invited him to her party and we thought this was a good time to…"

"Jesus Christ," Chibs groaned. "You don't actually think this thing between you and the scab is going anywhere, do you?"

Venom rose in Tara's throat. She balled her fists, and then forced herself to loosen them. "It's none of your business-"

"Anything that involves my daughter is my business," Chibs interrupted. "Tara, you don't even know him."

Tara laughed. If she knew anyone, she knew Jax Teller. Chibs grinned, accepting the challenge.

"Alright," he said, crossing his arms. "How long's he staying? Have you talked about that?" They hadn't. It was the question on the tip of Tara's tongue anytime she and Jax talked about the future, but she could never bring herself to ask it. Partly because she was so afraid of what he might say. Her silence was all the answer Chibs needed. He continued. "Do you even know what he's doing here?" Tears stung Tara's eyes. She wasn't foolish enough to believe Jax had only come back for her, but she stopped asking after he evaded the question at least a dozen times. Chibs sighed, shaking his head. "You're a smart girl, darlin'. Put the pieces together. The boy's a reporter. And he knows how many stories are hiding in this town, just begging to be uncovered."

Tara rolled her eyes. "Jax would never…"

Chibs chuckled. "Right, right. Jax would _never_. I suppose his motives behind comin' back are completely innocent. Just like I suppose you know all about his fiancée." The words were like a steel boot to Tara's gut. _Fiancée? _It wasn't possible.

"You're lying," she spat, turning away from Chibs, needing desperately to put as much distance as possible between her and what she prayed was an ugly lie as quickly as possible. He grabbed her arm to stop her, but not in the abrasive way he'd done before. This time he was much gentler. He almost seemed to pity her, like she was a porcelain doll full of cracks, ready to fall apart at any second.

"Darlin'," Chibs said, his voice apologetic. "We might not be on the same team right now, but you know I wouldn't lie to you. Not about something like this." Tara swallowed hard. Of course he wouldn't. He would never lie to her simply to hurt her. That wasn't his style. _But a fiancée?_ She felt like she was going to vomit.

"There's no way," she whispered, shaking her head.

"If you don't believe me, why don't you ask him? And keep him the hell away from my daughter, or I will." Tara's head was spinning as she turned away from Chibs and headed back toward the party. She wanted to confront Jax right then and there, but she wasn't prepared for what the answers to Chibs' questions might do to her. She had to keep it together for Sophie. She and Jax would have to talk later. And they most definitely would.

"Hey, you alright?" Jax asked, wrapping his arm protectively around Tara when she returned. She nodded, unable to speak. His grip tightened as Chibs approached. He focused his attention on his former friend. "Listen, man, I've been playing nice with you and the club since I came back into town," he said, a menacing tone in his voice Tara hadn't heard in years. "I really don't want any trouble. But if you ever lay a hand on her like that again, I will fucking kill you. Got it?"

Chibs chuckled, not even remotely intimidated. "Yeah." He patted Jax on the shoulder. "I got it."

* * *

"A fiancée?!" The vase of white lilies exploded beside Jax's head before he was fully inside the door, shattering against the wall. As he ducked for cover, confused and caught off guard, Tara tried to regain control of her emotions. This was not how their conversation was supposed to go. Tara had planned out exactly what she wanted to say and how she wanted say it. She'd gone over and over it in her head a million times- during Sophie's birthday party, as she smiled and tried to play the role of happy, devoted mother rather than woman scorned; on the drive home, while she listened to a country station and bawled her eyes out as she sang along with one depressing breakup song after another; and in the two hours since she'd been home alone, waiting for Jax to come over.

For once, Tara was thankful for her daughter's absence. There was no way she could parent effectively in her current unhinged state. Just one more thing she was furious with Jax for- taking her ability to be a good mother away from her. Chibs had insisted on keeping the birthday girl for the night. He knew Tara well enough to be able to see what a mess she was. Part of her wanted to protest- she'd never spent the night away from Sophie on her birthday before- but she knew it was no use. She never thought there would be even a single day that Chibs Telford would be a better parent than her. But that day had come. And it was all Jax's fault.

She thought about that, and about all of the things Chibs said to her, things that seemed too far-fetched to be true, even though she knew he wouldn't lie to her. And she replayed one brief moment from the party over and over in her mind- the moment when Jax stepped away from the crowd to take a call- from his fiancée? His editor? It could have been anyone. She watched him from afar, feeling like she was seeing who he really was for the first time- a complete stranger to her. She wanted for him to be the same boy she'd loved all those years ago, _her_ Jax. She wanted it so badly, she tried to ignore the fact that a full decade had gone by. But he had a life. One that she didn't know anything about. He was an investigative reporter. Someone's fiancée. A man with many secrets. Or were they secrets? It wasn't like Tara had pressed him for details on his life in San Diego. He didn't lie to her, really. He just didn't over-share. And like an idiot, she never pressed the issue.

All of these things swirled around in Tara's head, twisting up her insides, turning into a toxicity she needed to expel somehow. That process began the moment she saw Jax's face. She lost it. She wasn't proud of it, but she wasn't sorry for it either. Throwing things, screaming like a lunatic, all while Jax cowered near her front door, trying to decide whether to run or figure out what was going on.

"Tara!" he finally yelled back, lifting his hands above his head in surrender. "What the hell?!"

Her face beat red and streaked with tears, Tara ran trembling hands through her hair and sat down at the dining room table. Her throat was raw and her head was pounding. She heard the sound of glass breaking as Jax stepped through the wreckage of her destroyed home décor to get to her. His breathing was almost as loud as her heartbeat.

"Jesus Christ," he panted. "Babe, what the…"

"Don't touch me!" Tara warned. She was clinging very precariously to her newly regained sanity, and Jax coming anywhere near her was sure to set her off again.

"Okay," he conceded. "May I at least sit down so we can talk?" She nodded. He seated himself across from her and rested his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together in front of his face. She could see that they were shaking. Good. "Can you please tell me what's going on? Because I'm lost here."

Tara laughed an insane, sarcastic laugh. "_You're_ lost? Funny you should say that, Jax. Because I felt pretty lost today when I found out that you have a motherfucking fiancée!" Even coming out of her own mouth, the words were incredibly painful. It made it feel so much more real.

"Who told you that?" He didn't deny it. Tara held her head in her hands. She couldn't breathe.

"Is it true, Jax?" she demanded.

"No, of course not!"

"Horse shit!" Tara shouted. "Why would Chibs lie about that? He told me to ask you about your fiancée back home. He wouldn't just make something like that up." Jax sighed, shaking his head. Tara looked up, all of her fight gone. She was just…defeated. Her eyes met Jax's, and she felt a pain so severe, she thought she might die. _It was true._ She could see it in his face.

"Tara…"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Don't you dare try to…to _Jax_ me. You lying piece of shit!" She got up from the table and stalked into the kitchen. It was a risky move, because the kitchen was full of sharp things- knives, scissors, carving forks. But she had to get further away from him, otherwise she might rip his tongue out with her bare hands.

"Please let me explain," Jax pleaded. Tara's gut instinct was to tell him to get out and never come back. But she'd made that mistake once, and spent a decade regretting it. Even if it was over, and it most definitely was, she needed closure this time. Maybe that would make this heartbreak easier to recover from. Lord knows she never recovered from the first one.

"Explain," she said, glaring at Jax from across the room.

"I didn't lie to you, Tara. I'm not engaged. I was, once, but that's over now. You have to know that I would never do something like that to you." Tara contemplated this. What had Chibs said? _'I suppose you know all about his fiancée.'_ Could he have been speaking in past tense? It was possible. Although, the use of 'ex' in front of the word fiancée would have made a huge difference. Tara didn't want to think Chibs would do something like that to her on purpose, but it wasn't out of the question. A weight began to lift from her chest, and for the first time since her talk with Chibs at Sophie's party, she felt like she could breathe.

"How long?" she asked.

"What?" The more Tara relaxed, the more Jax relaxed. What began like an episode of _Jerry Springer_ was now turning into a rational conversation between two adults, which was the best possible outcome, considering that it could have easily turned into attempted murder instead.

"How long has it been over?"

"A few months," Jax said.

"What's her name?"

"Tara…"

"Her name is Tara?!" Tara's eyes went wide and her blood began to boil again.

Jax chuckled. "No. Her name is Morgan."

Tara let out a sigh of relief. "How long were you together?"

"Two years." Those words stung, but Tara continued.

"Did you love her?"

Jax pressed his lips together, deciding how to answer. The longer it took him, the more nervous Tara got. "I loved the idea of her," he finally said. "She was kind, and she loved me, and she wanted to build a life with me. And I wanted that- a life with someone. But once we started actually planning the wedding and talking about dates and putting down deposits, I had to be really honest with myself and face some truths that I had been ignoring for a long time."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that I didn't just want a life with 'someone,' I wanted a life with the woman I love. And that wasn't Morgan." Tara raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. "The truth is, as wonderful as Morgan is, she's not you, Tara. You're the only woman I've ever pictured as my wife. That wouldn't have been fair to Morgan, or to me. Or to you." Tara's face softened as Jax stood up from the table and slowly walked toward her.

"Do you still talk to her?"

"I've talked to her once since I've been here," Jax admitted. "She called me on what should have been our wedding day to see how I was doing."

"And what did you tell her?"

"I told her I was happy. That I'd moved on. I apologized for the millionth time for hurting her, but I told her I was more sure than ever that calling off the wedding was the right thing to do."

"That's it?" Tara resisted only slightly as Jax wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. She felt so safe, so relieved, so at home.

"That's it," he promised her. "You have nothing to worry about. I love you, Tara. I've always loved you." Tears fell from her eyes as Jax held her, rubbing her back while she cried. "I'm so sorry, babe. I should have told you. Can you forgive me?"

Tara pushed away from him and cleared her throat. "I forgive you," she said quietly. "But I don't know if I can get over the fact that you were engaged to someone else, Jax."

Jax let out a frustrated laugh. "You're joking, right?"

"No." Tara frowned, crossing her arms in front of her. "No, I'm not joking. You were _engaged_. That's huge."

"Tara, you had a baby with a member of the club. I would say we're even, but I feel like you've still got me beat by quite a bit." He was right. Of course, he was right. "That killed me, finding out about you and Chibs. But I love you more than I hate the idea of you with someone else. That's how I got over it. So I hope you can do the same."

"I can try," Tara murmured.

"Good." Jax kissed her on the forehead and held her face in his hands, wiping away tears with his thumbs. "I love you. I am in love with you." Fresh tears rolled down Tara's cheeks, and her chin began to quiver. "Babe, what is it?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

"I love you, too," she sobbed. "It's just…what are we doing, Jax? Where is this going? I've been so busy enjoying our time together and living in the moment, I've been completely ignoring the fact that you have a life in San Diego. A job, a house, a history. And I'm here. I'm stuck here. I don't know if I can keep doing this with you, knowing that it could end at any moment, that you could just pack up your shit and go home."

Jax bit his lip in a failed attempt to keep from smiling. He seemed relieved. "You don't have to worry about that," he said. "I'll admit, when I first got here, I thought I would only stay for a couple weeks, tops. But all that changed when we found each other again. I'm not going anywhere, Tara. I'll stay for as long as you want me around. I have no intention of leaving you again, ever."

Overcome with emotion, Tara threw her arms around Jax's neck and kissed him passionately. She'd spent most of the day sure they were over for good, and now they were in a better, more solid place than ever.

"I love you," she said with a mischievous grin. "Let me get this mess cleaned up, and then I'll show you how much."

Jax shook his head and smiled. "No way," he argued. "This mess is my fault. Besides, I don't want you cutting yourself on the glass. I'll clean it up, you go get ready for bed." Tara opened her mouth to protest, but she was exhausted and really needed a shower, so she agreed.

* * *

Tara laid in bed in her robe, her hair still wet from her shower, listening to the sound of Jax running the vacuum in the living room. As she drifted off to sleep, she was at peace. Chibs was wrong. Jax wasn't engaged to someone else. And he wasn't going to leave her. That knowledge was enough to make her forget all about his third warning, the one that would unfortunately ring much truer than the others. She would find out eventually, of course, but in that moment, ignorance was bliss.


	9. Chapter 9

Tara sat in a corner booth at her favorite diner, picking at the cold fries on the plate in front of her. He was late. He was always late. She'd taken the afternoon off work, because she knew they needed to talk before he left. He was headed out town for a couple of weeks, and she didn't want to leave things unsettled. She looked up as the door chimed open.

"Sorry I'm late, darlin'," Chibs apologized as he sat down across from her. He removed his riding gloves and slicked back his salt and pepper hair, but left his sunglasses on.

"What's new, right?" Tara mused, not attempting to hide her annoyance.

"Can I get you anything to drink, hon?" a waitress in her late 50's asked Chibs as she approached. She looked at him the way most people in town looked at the Sons, equal parts awestruck and terrified.

He smiled at her. "Just water, please."

Tara's eyes narrowed. "Not staying long?"

"Nah," Chibs confirmed. "Lots to do before we leave for Nevada tomorrow, and I promised Sophie I'd pick her up from school. So what's up?"

"I just thought we should discuss what happened at Sophie's party, get a few things settled."

"Aye," he agreed.

The waitress returned with his water. "Anything to eat for ya today?" she asked, trying to act casual. He shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Tara. Tara waited until they were alone again to continue.

"So Jax and I talked. He doesn't have a fiancée. But I feel like you already knew that." Chibs took a sip of his water and raised his eyebrows, but didn't answer. "And he's not leaving, he's staying." He remained unaffected. "And we're…we're together, Chibs." He rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back in his seat. "I know it's not what you want to hear, and I know he would never be your choice for me…but it's not your choice to make. And…and he's going to start spending time with me and Sophie."

"There it is," Chibs chuckled. "Ya coulda just led with that, darlin'. I don't give a damn about all that other shite. The answer is no."

"I didn't ask you a question," Tara said confused and angry. How had their relationship deteriorated so quickly? They used to be great friends. Now they couldn't even hold a conversation.

"Oh, but didn't you? You bring me here, make these big declarations about your love life, like I give a damn, and then tell me what's going to happen with my daughter? And you don't think you're askin' for my blessing? My permission?"

"I don't…" Tara's voice was louder than she intended for it to be. She cleared her throat and started over, practically whispering this time. "I don't need your permission, Filip. She is my daughter, too, and I will do as I please with her. I'm only telling you because I don't want you to think I'm going behind your back." Chibs sucked air in sharply through his teeth. Tara couldn't see his eyes, but she was sure they were as black as his kutte. "I love Jax," she declared. "And he loves me. He's a part of my life, and he's going to be a part of Sophie's. And you're just going to have to find a way to deal with that." Before Chibs could scold her like a child again, she slid out of the booth and stood up, grabbing her purse from a nearby hook. "You get the check," she said before storming out.

As she got into her car, still shaking, she glanced inside the diner. Chibs was still sitting, unmoved, staring at Tara's plate of cold fries. It killed her to see him upset, but maybe this was what he needed. He and Tara had always been on the same page when it came to Sophie, so he wasn't used to her going against his wishes. He had to realize that parenting was a democracy, not a dictatorship.

* * *

"Well this is a surprise," Jax said, grinning from ear to ear as he opened the door to his motel room. He pulled Tara in for a kiss, but she was too distracted to respond.

"He's such a jackass," she complained, waltzing into the room without being invited. It had been weeks since she'd visited Jax's makeshift home. Usually, he came to her. The bed was unmade and there was a half-eaten Subway sandwich on the small table near the window, but aside from that, the room was immaculate. And small. And sad. It made her feel like shit that Jax had to stay in a place like that rather than with her. But while she was ready to start bringing him around Sophie, there was no way he could move in with them. Not yet, anyway.

"And by he, you mean…"

"Chibs!" she screamed, throwing herself down on the bed like a petulant child.

"Of course," Jax mused. She couldn't see his face, since she had hers buried in a pillow that smelled deliciously of him, but she was pretty sure he was smiling. "What did our fine Scottish friend do now?"  
"He's not _my_ friend," Tara mumbled, rolling over onto her back. Jax sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as he pushed her hair out of her face.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he's not my friend either," he chided. "What with all the death threats. Now what happened?"

"I confronted him about what he said at the party, and he didn't even apologize! And then when I told him that I was going to start letting you spend time with Sophie, he flipped out. I swear to God, that man is so infuriating! Who does he think he is? Telling me who I can and can't bring around my own child. Like _he's_ the responsible parent. Okay, Mr. Criminal."

Jax shook his head, no longer attempting to hide his amusement. "You done?"

She wasn't. "He's such a fucker!" she yelled, then exhaled deeply. "Okay. Now I'm done."

He kissed her on the forehead, still chuckling. "I love you. But you're crazy, you know that?" She swung playfully at him, connecting with his gut with more force than she intended. "Ow," he groaned.

"I'm sorry," she giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. Jax wrapped her up in his arms and squeezed her tight. They both laughed as she tried to wiggle free, and her stress completely disappeared. Without a single word, Jax was able to remind her why all the craziness, all the fighting with Chibs and Gemma and the club, was worth it. After a moment of silliness, they fell into a comfortable embrace.

"Did you mean it?" Jax asked quietly.

"Mean what?"

"Are you ready for me to be a part of your life with Sophie?" Tara always figured Jax wanting to spend time with Sophie was more about him having unrestricted access to Tara, and less about actually bonding with Sophie. In that moment, she knew she was wrong. He sounded…nervous. Excited. Hopeful.

Tara looked into his eyes and smiled. "I am if you are." He nodded, then pulled her face toward his until their lips collided.

* * *

Tara raced toward the kitchen as the timer on the oven buzzed. She'd just finished putting on what was probably way too much makeup, and was running out of time to get everything done before her guests arrived. She pulled the roast out of the oven and set it on the stove, then adjusted the oven temperature for the brownies she was making for dessert. The table was set, the salad was ready, and the mashed potatoes were simmering on the stove. She glanced at the clock. 4:30. Chibs was late getting back with Sophie. She told him no later than 4:15. Jax was going to be there around five, and he was almost always a little early. She didn't want the two men in her life running into each other. Not tonight. She slid the brownies into the oven, reset the timer, then returned to the bathroom to finish her hair.

She was mid-curl when the doorbell rang. She hurried to the door, thankful it was exactly who she was expecting.

"Hey, princess," she squealed, giving Sophie a careful kiss on the cheek.

"Wow, Mommy, you look pretty," the little girl said, twisting her fingers around one of her mother's perfect curls.

"Thank you, baby. Give Daddy a kiss goodbye and then go put your stuff in your room and get cleaned up for dinner, we've got company coming over." Sophie obeyed, and Tara prayed Chibs would behave once the two of them were alone.

"Who's coming over?" he asked.

Tara sighed. "Please don't do this."

"You look gorgeous," he said, changing the subject.

She looked up at him, surprised. "Thank you."

"I don't wanna fight with ya, darlin'."

"Me either," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry about being so rude earlier. I shouldn't have let my emotions get the best of me."

"Eh, I deserved it. I'm sorry, too. This whole Jax thing, it's just…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

"I know it's not easy for you. But it's not about you, Chibs. I've been alone Sophie's whole life. I deserve to be happy. Jax makes me happy. And I know he'll be good to Sophie."

Chibs smiled. "You're a good ma. Always have been. I trust ya."

"So you're okay with all of this?" Tara was incredulous. It couldn't be that easy.

"No," he chortled. "But I will be. Someday."

Tara kissed him on the cheek, careful not to smudge her makeup. "Thank you. Be safe on your trip."

"Always am," he said with a wink. As Tara watched him walk away, she felt like things might actually be okay.

* * *

"This is a lot of food," Jax observed, eyeing the feast on the table before him. Tara grinned. "Don't tell me Chibs is having dinner with us."

"No," she laughed. "But we do have a few other guests coming."

"Who?" he asked, pulling nervously on his gray v-neck. As usual, he was immaculate. He'd been growing out his facial hair since he'd been home, and almost had a full beard, which Tara found incredibly sexy. His hair was getting longer, too, and he could almost slick it back without it falling in his eyes. But she kind of preferred it messy. He was dressing a lot more casually, wearing baggier jeans and simpler t-shirts. Tara hadn't seen skinny jeans or a sweater in weeks.

"You'll see," she said coyly. She'd convinced herself that Jax's surprise would be a welcome one, because she so badly wanted for it to go well. It had the potential to change everything.

Sophie was seated on a stool at the counter, eyeing Jax curiously as she colored him a picture. She was thrilled he was staying for dinner. He didn't even have to try to win her over, she was already smitten. Tara's heart was so full, with both of her loves under the same roof. She felt like things really were changing, headed in a more permanent direction.

Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rang. Tara offered Jax a reassuring nod, then made her way to the door to reveal their guests- the Winston family.

"Welcome, welcome," she said excitedly, ushering Opie, Donna, and their two children into the house.

"Ellie!" Sophie yelled, jumping down from her seat. She idolized the older girl, and Tara was thankful that Ellie at least tolerated her.

"Hi, Kenny," Tara said, ruffling the young boy's dark hair. "Hope you brought your appetite." He nodded, then disappeared into the living room. He knew where she kept the remote.

Tara gave Donna a quick hug, and the two women watched silently as Jax and Opie shook hands. Tara's heart swelled. She knew Opie was the key. If he and Jax could rekindle some sort of friendship, Opie would be more inclined to smooth things over with the club. And maybe Jax wouldn't feel so isolated. He needed someone other than just Tara in his life.

* * *

There was little talking while everyone ate, and after dinner they separated into groups. Kenny retreated to the living room, where he'd found some sort of extreme sporting event being live broadcast on TV. The girls went outside to play on the swing set. Tara and Donna took to the task of cleaning off the table and washing the dishes, and Jax and Opie stood on the back deck, smoking and watching the girls play. Tara pretended she couldn't hear them, but she and Donna worked in silence so they could eavesdrop easily. Every once in a while they shot each other a shameful glance, both embarrassed about invading the guys' privacy, but not so much so that they felt the need to stop.

It was Opie who finally struck up a conversation. "So, you and Tara…you're like a thing, huh?"

Jax chuckled. "Yeah, man. Crazy, right? I was hoping to run into her when I came back to town, but I never expected all of this. I guess some people, you just can't get out of your system. It's like meant to be or some shit." Tara's stomach filled with butterflies. It was one thing for Jax to say sweet things to her, but something else entirely for her to hear him talk about her with someone else.

"I always thought you two were good together, sort of balanced one another out. But I guess now shit's kind of backwards, huh? You're the straight edge and Tara's the wild one."

Jax was quiet for a moment, and Tara knew where the conversation was headed. She began to panic. "Is she…wild?"

Opie laughed and took a drag from his cigarette. "Not anymore. The kid mellowed her out, you know? But for a while there, especially right after you took off…man. She went off the rails."

"Sorry to hear that." Jax's words were stiff, as if he didn't really know what to say. He didn't want to picture Tara in a such dark place, especially knowing it was his fault.

"So how's Chibs taking all of this? He and Tara haven't been a thing for years, but he can't be happy about you being around his kid."

"No," Jax said. "He's not. But he knows it's happening, and he told Tara he'd find a way to deal. I guess that's progress, right?"

"Guess so," Opie agreed. "What about the rest of the club? Any other dust-ups?"

"Thankfully, no. Just that one when I first got to town. And then my mom." He paused, recalling that awful night when she'd nearly shot him and Tara both. "How is Gemma?"

"Gemma's Gemma," Opie laughed. "She was pissed when you first got here, but now I think she's just…sad. So she's trying to act like everything's wonderful, totally overcompensating. You know how she is."

Jax let out a long sigh. "Yeah."

After a lull in the conversation, Opie spoke again, his voice quiet. "You shouldn't have left, man."

Jax was sullen. "I know. But at the time, it was my only choice. Now all I can try to do is put it back together. I know the club will never forgive me, but as long as they're not trying to kill me, that's okay. Things with Tara have never been better. And all I can do is hope that someday Gemma will come around."

"I don't know, man. She's pretty damn stubborn." They both laughed.

"And what about us?" Jax asked. "Are we good? You and me? I hated the way we left shit, Ope, but with you still being a prospect…I was afraid Clay would never let you in the club if he knew you and I stayed in contact. And that shit just hurt too much. All of it. I had to make a clean break. It was never about not loving my family. You, Tara, Gemma…you were my family. And I thought about you guys every day. So for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, and I'm sorry for how my actions affected you. I know you probably don't give a shit, but it's something I needed to say."

Opie took so long to respond, Tara didn't think he ever would. But then with four words, he changed everything, and gave her the first glimmer of hope that things really might all work out, for everyone.

"Yeah, man. We're good."


End file.
